Hot damn! I bet these two were playing Bloody Mary! Unless they were playing that game where you say some name into a mirror.
So sane or insane, does it matter? Can't we all just assume the Cheshire Cat was right and try to make do? I try to make do by remaining reclusive and avoiding serious conversations with other people. But I found a serious flaw in being a recluse! I keep my life orderly so that when I leave the house, I commit to short jaunts to familiar places. Get in and get out. Expose yourself to "reality" in the most miniscule time units you can manage. The flaw? The places I frequent most often because they're familiar to me cause me to be familiar with the owners and workers of those places! So now they're trying to have personal conversations with me instead of just helping me as they'd help some other anonymous nobody! I go in to get comic books: "Hey Tess! These are all you're getting this week? Usually you have a huge stack!" I go to get Korean Bento: "Do you want the usual? How is the Non-Certified Spouse? Back from visiting family yet?" I go to eat breakfast out: "Yeah, I used to live on 48th as well! I grew up there! Did you know Mack and Elma?" I go to the bank: "How is Judas?" What the fuck, bank clerk?! How do you know my cat's name! What the fuck is going on here?! How does everybody in my neighborhood suddenly know so much about me when I barely leave the fucking house!?
*pant pant pant*
Forget reality. Just let it go, Tess! Look at the comic book. Remember the comic book. That's the world you want to spend your time inside. Breathe slowly. Let your ego dissipate in the gentle caress of images and speech balloons. Relax. Relax. Re. Lax.
Get out! Get out! The posts are coming from inside the house!
After leaving the beach, Poison Ivy digs around on Harley's computer to look for some clues! Clues are always a good thing to find when one discovers they're wrapped up in a mystery! And if you can't find any clues, the next best thing to find is a rich white guy involved in real estate that has easy access to scary rubber masks. Then you kill him and the mystery should quietly disappear.
Oh ha ha. The Nunya Business file. Hoo whee! It's moments like this that I wonder why God only gave us two knees to slap!
Fine. Hide in the closet. I think a potted plant would work better! Also note the Cheshire Cat under the bed because I'm a Master Comic Book Reader or something.
As Harley updates, she's attacked by two more assassins, Cliche Skull Head and Masked Katana Woman in Leather Clichegirl. They have to be caricatures of assassins because they're going to be dead soon. As a comic book creator, you don't want to create a character that can earn you royalties and waste them by killing them off immediately! No way! You have to create watered down versions of characters people will kind of recognize and then kill them! These two are probably actually called Killdeath and Deathkill. Oh! I just copyrighted those names!
I'm tempted to replace my pink Stephanie "Get Up and Dance" icon with this one of Goat Boy's dinner being ruined.
Mini-Danzig (he must really be small to refer to him as both "mini" and "Danzig," amirite?!) checks in on the girls to make sure they're not dead since bullets did come through the floor of the entire building. As he helps bag up Skulldeathkillkillman, Skulldeathkillkillman's phone goes off. It plays "I Will Survive" because of irony or sarcasm or anacoluthon or something. The phone tells the tale of a secret meeting of Brooklyn Assassins where Brooklyn Assassins are meeting in secret. Can you believe Harley's luck?! Now she knows where to go to kill them all at one time! She'd probably thank Jesus but he might take issue with all the killing that's about to take place.
This is normally where I'd scan a panel of the carnage except PENIS JOKE! <-- anacoluthon!
Harley Quinn #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. Another very nice looking issue. Some major pluses were lots of nearly naked people. Some minuses were Harley's Beaver getting a hole blown through it. He seems to be okay though. Plus the jokes were much better this time around than the last issue.