This commentary is an Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea Primer. Highly recommended for newbies and novices.
After such an erudite observation, I type out this next sentence where I hope that I used "erudite" correctly. Then it's on to the next page where Grifter and Fifty Sue are flirting. Then I say, "Why don't Grifter and Fifty Sue get a room already where Chris Hanson can introduce himself and ask Grifter to take a seat." Also, I get to point out how whoever scripted this issue stole my fucking line.
That's verifiable Grunion Guy copyrighted material, that line about Batman and Robin!
Back in Lois Lane's office building, I might point out the gigantic fucking watch she wears on her wrist which will probably turn out to be something to summon Superman. Or I might just whine for a bit about how she created a blogging empire while my blog is just a little shitty site on Tumblr with less follows than every high school student in America. Of course, they're all posting nudies and Supernatural gifs while I'm actually taking the time to carefully construct a seemingly rambling and incoherent, often offensive and mildly racist, essay that always has a subtle intellectual subtext and/or secret message to our lizard overlords. Currently Lois is trying to figure out what a bunch of random numbers are on a sheet of paper.
Usually I'll take a moment like this to brag about my past comic book achievements. So the numbers on the paper remind me of DC Challenge when eleven different DC writers and artists wrote a bunch of cliffhanger issues to try to stump the next creative team. Mostly each subsequent creative team ignored what came before and just introduced more and more of their own plot points until the entire story was a sagging, bulging sack of D-list characters running around with no motivations. In the first issue, Batman received a clue as a string of numbers, 51773173. Being a Master Comic Book Reader (even at that young age), I realized instantly that it was the name Eli Ellis when seen backwards in a calculator readout. Of course none of the other writers picked up on this because they were all narcissistic idiots that couldn't give a shit about the story that came before their part. The whole thing was a huge fiasco and I can't wait to dig it out of my long boxes and reread it!
Sure, it's hand to mouth for you Earth 2 chumps whom Lois threatens daily with deportation while she rakes in the big money on porn adverts!
Look! Thought balloons! Remember those?!
Also, I tend to swear a lot and disparage Scott Lobdell and Ann Nocenti.
Still the only dead characters so far in Futures End (not counting #0). Thank God that Hawkman was one of them! Oh, another important tidbit about me: I don't actually believe in God. But I do often thank him and scream at his son when I stub my toe.
Here's the temple and all its clues. Obviously it has a heavy Earth 3 theme with some minor Pandora Skull flourishes and what looks like a likeness of the Anti-Monitor destroying everything.
P.S. Everybody should reblog this primer so we can convince more people to participate in our super intellectual Disqus discussions that are probably way over most people's heads anyway. Also pretend I remembered to make another "get a room" joke to tie everything together!