Larfleeze #12

And failure!

So J.M. and Keith gave it a shot. They wrote a clever back-up feature that was a lot of fun and then dropped seventeen characters that nobody remembered from the Preboot Era when they expanded to a full monthly series. I think that might have been their first mistake. Space Cabbie and Space Ranger and the Star Rovers were important elements of Larfleeze's early Reboot success. They actually had things to say besides "Mine" or "Mine!" or "Mine?" They brought some diversity to the comic book so that it wasn't just Pulsar pointing out how much it sucks to be Larfleeze's butler. Their second mistake was not writing more than four jokes across eleven issues. Even at a monthly pace, readers start to notice the jokes repeating over and over, especially when you use them three or four times in the same issue.

Now Larfleeze has one last issue to make me laugh out loud. But I'm not holding my breath. Because that would make it difficult to laugh out loud.

The issue begins with a dead beat robot dad joke followed by the death of one of the more interesting characters in the book, L-Frank!

Nothing strikes the funny bone quite like a divorced couple that can't stop arguing about money and children!

On the next page, we get the "my name is G'nort not gnat" joke for about the seventh or eight time since G'nort appeared two or three issues ago. As you can see, I hate to be too precise. Precision shows competence and I'd hate portray myself in a less than truthful light. On the page after that, The Wanderer continues to insist that Larfleeze is her beloved which is another joke that hasn't evolved at all. You'd think some of these jokes would head toward some kind of payoff instead of just treading water. Well, I'd think that anyway! I don't know what you'd think. I can't fathom what conclusions anybody willing to read this blog would actually come to.

On the page following, there is an explosion of orange light. That isn't a joke but it has happened quite often during the series. But for those that love to reread jokes, Larfleeze does declare, once again, that he isn't a monkey on the page after that!

I wonder if I can get DC to refund me $29.99 since this entire series really only used about two issues worth of jokes across twelve issues? I'd be willing to pay for the first and last issue. I think DC owes me a refund on the rest.

The page after this, we get the "don't call me beloved" joke again! And then the "everything is mine" joke comes around for another appearance. But Larfleeze only points out to everybody that everything is his so that he can defeat them and stop the battle. Finally, the Tuath Dan Clan give up. They flee the Planet of Depressed Robots leaving G'nort and Larfleeze to figure out what to do with the planet.

Larfleeze decides to remain king of the Planet of Depressed Robots even though all of the robots have been destroyed. He does plan on fixing them up though with a little help from his newly discovered cousin: G'nort!

I knew Larfleeze was a dog and not a monkey all along!

Is this canon now? Green Lanterns can't apprehend family members with links so far back that they're barely even family members? I think this means Hal, John, Guy, and Kyle can't engage any criminals on Earth at all! I'm sure we're all basically fourteenth cousins twice removed! I'd really be sure of that if I had any idea what it means! I always forget what the removed part and the numbered part and the word "cousin" mean. All I need to know is, "Can I have sex with a fourteenth cousin twice removed?" I mean, I know I can! But can I do it without the other family members judging me?

The issue ends with Pulsar having been completely forgotten. That was the best part of the issue because I'd really gotten sick of his pathetic "why me?" attitude! Although the best part of the series is the part that's never going to happen! The part where Larfleeze and Gnat ("It's G'nort!") team up to be the World's Bravest and Finest and Most Bold! It's probably a good thing that it ended with G'nort becoming Larfleeze's sidekick because now I can just imagine how good that could have been by ignoring how bad the rest of this was.

Larfleeze #12 Rating: -1 Ranking because I didn't laugh out loud. I almost did at one part! Perhaps a slight chuckle. But that's why it only gets one loss of rank instead of two.