At least John gets to keep his cigarette.
Hey! Did you all know John Constantine is bisexual? Reader Locke wanted to remind everybody since John was sleeping with three women last issue. Actually, reader Locke wanted to remind me since, through experiential evidence from my eyeballs and my brain, I had noticed that he was sleeping with three women. Apparently I should have remembered that John was bisexual and pretended that one of the women was a man. Just to keep things straight. Um. So to speak.
I might have just sounded a little bit pissy in that last paragraph and my attitude is sure to be taken as if I have a problem with bisexuals because some people just want to preach at other people and point out that they're not as good people as the person doing the preaching even if the people doing the preaching have got the wrong end of the stick. But I just sounded pissy because I don't write the comic books. J.M. DeMatteis is on Twitter if you feel he should be reminded that Constantine is bisexual. I only report what I see! Also what I think I see! Also sometimes things I wished I'd seen but had to make up instead.
Okay, fine! I'm untrustworthy enough to have lied about John being with three women! But I don't like people assuming that I'm an Amateur Comic Book Reader! Haven't you read all of those times I've proclaimed that I'm a Master Comic Book Reader? You should trust that I know what I'm doing!
I also don't think John is a bisexual. I don't think he'd want to be labeled when it came to his sexual choices. Bisexual is too limiting for John. I'd make up a word here that describes his sexuality but, as I just said so recently there's no way you've already forgotten it, I don't think Constantine would want to be labeled. As a free thinking individual, he can give a toss what other people think of him or how other people want to control him through mundane categories. He's just John Constantine! Even that's probably too much label for him!
I like when reader's give bits of condensation nuclei to get my ranting bubbling to the surface but it often comes at the expense of sounding like I have something against the reader! I totally don't! I love Locke! And Natalie! And the other person whose name I can't remember but it sounded like I was a jerk to that person when I responded to that person in a commentary but I totally wasn't being hostile or mean-spirited at all and sorry that I can't remember your name [I think it was rebeccamartin2!]! Now do I have to list every other reader and say that I love them as well because I just don't have the time nor the inclination! How about I just say, "I love you all!" And I mean that in the most insincere way possible. I mean, it's sincere enough if you take "I love you" to mean "I'd gladly nod in your direction if you called out my name in public and waved at me like a maniac."
Well, maybe I love Artya. Or miss Artya. One of those.
Anyway, this was the basic conflict currently troubling the Justice League Dark.
What I learned from my one day as a philosopher is that the greatest philosopher in the room is always the last one to ask, "How do you know?" The person resorting to punching the greatest philosopher in the face is not the greatest philosopher in the room although that person might be the biggest hero in the room. And I'm against all forms of physical violence! Unless the person committing the violence is wearing a cape. Then it's fun.
This is the new conflict after they sort out their internal issues.
Instead of letting them all stop existing, The Nightmare Nurse takes it upon herself to give the others time to get home. That's because she took some kind of a nursing vow at Nightmare Medical University to protect people in need. So she's going to remain in the Between to try to show it life is worth living and it's kind of a dick move to go around forcing other people to not live life in the same way that you do. Or don't. One of those.
So Zee is into three-headed parasitic demons! As the great poet Paris Hilton wrote, "That's hot!"
Justice League Dark escapes and Nightmare Nurse returns to nothing. She says she gives her final power to her father. I don't know if she's speaking directly to the Between or she's speaking to a long lost father that filled her with Daddy Issues before setting her loose on the world.
Or maybe Asa isn't dead because Zatanna seems to have been keeping her under her tongue.
Which poet?! I've been correctly attributing my quotes! I'm going to guess it was either Rudyard Kipling or Nicole Richie.
Justice League Dark #32 Rating: +2 Ranking. This was a well told issue that sorted out the Nightmare Nurse and her position on the team nicely. Although I'm still wondering about her father. Is he nonexistence? Or was he somebody else from long, long ago. Maybe Trigon the Rapist! I'm still not a huge fan of John being on the team since he's always been such a loner but maybe he'll work out okay in a support role and not as the leader. The one reason for him to stick around is to explore his connection to the House of Mystery and his room full of New 52 secrets. But I have a feeling that subject will never be broached again. It was probably just a little something for Forever Evil and now John just doesn't give a shit about his hero research anymore.
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