Dial H #8

Human centipedes are usually formed ass to mouth, aren't they?

I realize I haven't been throwing my own drawings into these commentaries quite as much as I used to. Now I just do quickie dialogues. So here's my interpretation of the cover of this month's Dial H.

To defeat him, just serve him over-spiced lamb vindaloo.

Seriously though. You don't name a new character The Centipede and give him the look China and Alberto have given him without expecting the reader to instantly think of The Human Centipede, right? That movie, by the way, is one of the best ideas brought to life in the worst ways. I think it only works as a supposition. "Suppose someone were to sew two people together ass to mouth?" "That's disgusting! Let's make a terrible movie about it!" If I had directed that masterpiece, I'm pretty sure I would have been yelling this through most of the takes: "Fluffer! Fluffer on set! The Japanese guy should be fully aroused in this scene!"

This Centipede's super power isn't crawling around ass-to-mouth terrified. He can rewind time. This enables him to try every possible thing he can think of until he gets what he wants. Now I don't know if this simply causes images and after-effects of his failed timelines or if each subsequent reversal of time creates a new version of him in the same timeline. Which would mean this guy would leave corpses all over the fucking place! I'm guessing he just creates weird after-images as he flips back and forth through time. Oh, he's also after Nelson's dial.

Meanwhile, Nelson and Manteau are off to Canada to find a bird that has discovered a dial of its own. They want another dial since they're currently sharing one. Nelson kind of hopes that the guy will want to work with him but Manteau just assumes he's probably up to no good. Since they really just want his dial, I'm sure they both secretly hope he's an asshole so they can defeat him and take the dial away. This is possibly the number one reason super heroes come into conflict with each other in comic books. Nobody trusts anybody else with large amounts of power because you can never actually know the motives of the other person. It's why the United States thinks they need to police the entire world. They know believe they're a force for good, so they know believe they should be allowed to have excessive power and control. It's easier to assume someone is up to no good so you can launch a preemptive strike against them and keep them from gaining power than to live with the uncertainty that another person can wield that power responsibly. You know, the way Batman treats Superman! At least it looks like Nelson and Manteau are going to investigate the owner of this Dial before simply punching him in the face and taking what they want.

Currently Manteau is running around grabbing government files and giving them to hackers to expose. Why? I don't know. It's something to do! Or the secrets have to do with the Canadian Organization that created The Centipede and has control of the other dial.

Oh! Oh! Let me guess! "Tourette's Singerome!"

Manteau is not Tourette's Singerome. Of course she isn't! That was too awesome a name for it to possibly be the real one. Instead, she's Flame War! I guess that's fitting since she's into internet espionage right now. Also it turns out not to be Manteau. Nelson was just wearing her mask and cape, perhaps to try out her suggestion to not get lost in the persona. It doesn't help because he strips down pretty quickly to run around completely enmeshed in the personality of Flame War.

I had to look up Wolf Ticket!

Nelson manages to ground himself and shake off the hallucinations when he runs into the guy with the other Dial.

Black Autumn?

He came to stop Flame War but he doesn't seem to be used to the Dial's effects yet, so he zones out a few times while getting lost in the personality of whoever he's become. Centipede was speaking to somebody called Dark Maple earlier and that could fit this guy's description. But if this is a super power dialed in, I can't imagine Centipede would have known who he was calling. Unless the Canadian Government has found a way to keep Heroes locked in to the dial? Because as the mysterious Dialer gets thoroughly confused, a Canadian SWAT team choppers in and pulls him out of the fight.

The Centipede has also arrived after his phone call with Dark Maple from Roxie's apartment made him aware that she was in Toronto and on their trail. So he zip-rewinded back to Toronto in time to see the Canadian Dialer fight Flame War. Now The Centipede is following Flame War back to Nelson and Roxie's hotel.

Lad Autumn! I have a feeling China probably called him "Black Autumn" as well since comic books historically have needed to add "black" to African American super hero names but editorial probably felt people wouldn't get the subversiveness of the name so they changed it to Lad Autumn.

The Centipede follows Flame War back and watches as he transforms back into Nelson. Something about this situation gives The Centipede pause and he reports back to Dark Maple that he lost Flame War and that he's having a problem with his comms so he's going off line. He then confronts Nelson privately. He takes the Dial with his super time powers and lets Nelson know that he knows about the Dial. And he knows that Nelson Jent is new to this stuff. And then he threatens to dial a hero.

Dial H #8 Rating: +1 Ranking. Looks like Nelson and Roxie are really getting into the shit. It was simply a matter of time before they ran into a well-funded government organization that knows as much about the Dials as they do. Good thing it's Canada though! They'll probably be nice and polite during the ultimate showdown.