Is this how Catwoman ends up on Justice League America? To payback Steve Trevor for all the shit she damaged in the Black Room?
Let's get on with the action and see if we can't make sense of any of it, shall we?
Someone named Rafa forgot that Catwoman currently has pointy Eclipso ears!
Now that Catwoman has defeated the normal guards, who will attack her next? Dr. Mist? Dr. Peril? Dr. Fate? Dr. Thirteen? Dr. Occult (wait? Was that the guy killed in The House of Secrets over in JLD?)? Dr. Alchemy? Some magic person that doesn't have a higher education? Perhaps Bachelor Fate? Or Master Mist?
Until the next wave of ARGUS defenders make themselves known, Darwin tries to talk some sense into Catwoman as The Black Arm of Dan Donnelly battles a demon in the background.
Her pointy ears are back!
So Dudwin continues to try to explain to Catwoman why she's acting crazy and why she should stop acting crazy. Perhaps if his argument were logical enough, I might believe he could convince a crazy person to not be crazy anymore. But his argument is crazy stupid. His argument boils down to Catwoman should not act crazy because one scary gem plus one liquid map plus one person that hired Catwoman equals "apocalyptic multiverse time-continuum-destroying damage." Yeah, I can see that. But a crazy person isn't going to see that! Geez, Dudwin. Get a degree in something other than Cartography if you want to be useful.
The debate ends during a close-up shot of Catwoman's ass being kissed by the liquid map. Oh, you want to see that? Fine.
I can't think of a single reason a liquid map would want to kiss that ass with its tongue multiple times and across every square inch. Not one reason.
Here's a peak into Darwin's mind in case you thought I was being unfair when I sort of hinted that he was stupid and useless.
Complete and utter chaos is exploding around Darwin and he's concerned that his name is being made fun of.
Oh! Oh! I know how Catwoman can defeat the Escalator! She just has to flash her boobies! Because when does an Escalator stop moving? When it Stairs! Ha ha ha! I should collect all of the jokes I've made up during these commentaries and put them together in a very, very, very short book.
Catwoman doesn't use my tactic because she's crazy. Otherwise she totally would have gotten naked to defeat the demon. Instead, The Black Arm of Dan Donnelly remembers that he always fought for the underdog and decides the cat is the dog in this fight. It punches the Escalator and Catwoman whips the Escalator and the Escalator finally returns to the pages of the Devil's Codex.
All that's left is a way out!
Here's a thought: exit through the secret trapdoor that leads to the Map Room!
Finally, Trip tells Catwoman he has secrets and he supposes she has secrets so maybe they should get together sometime and tell each other their secrets? Catwoman says, "Sure. But not right now. I have cramps." And that's the end of the Eclipso crossover!
Catwoman #16 Rating: -2 Ranking. It was so awful I think I was Eclipso'd!
Wait. That's not right. Whatever. It sucked!