So it was these guys playing Giant Rooftop Chess in Catwoman #13!
Me: "Lord Google: Catwoman #13."
Lord Google: "Well, right mate, you could be a little more specific. I mean, what do you want to know about it? Raya Sandoval? Ann Nocenti? Rooftop Chess Game? Featured as a Death of the Family tie-in but was a waste of money for anybody reading it for that reason?"
Me: "Thanks, Lord Google! That's all I neeed!"
Lord Google: "Are you sure? You don't need to know anything else? What about the fact that Community Season Four begins airing on February 7th?!"
Me: "Oh! That's good news! Thanks, Lord Google, for actually supplying me with information I didn't know I was looking for but was! You're an evil, information-stealing, megagenius and you deserve to rule the world eventually!"
Lord Google: "Pip pip! Jolly ho! Nice of you to say so! I'll see you in hell!"
This issue begins with Batman in bed recuperating and watching television when he hears the news that The Scarecrow is fucking shit up in Gotham Square, blimp style! This looks like a job for Batman!
Are you fucking kidding me?! You could have prevented all of this shit from going down if you'd just worn that the first time you knew you were raiding The Scarecrow's hideout! Somebody has a secret desire to huff fear toxin.
Batman hits the front lines but can't do much. The people he needs to protect are the people violently attacking him and each other and themselves. He needs an antidote!
The toxin is made of Scarecrow pee and children's tears. So the antidote is probably old man tears and Batman pee! Hurry, someone make Alfred cry and Batman can pee on his face!
DC is making it so easy to continue my fantasy that the Scarecrow has been pissing in children's faces throughout this entire story line! I mean, that's what's actually been happening!
Batman is severely dehydrated from his earlier encounter with The Scarecrow, so he uses his blood instead of his pee. Or maybe that's how it was supposed to work all along. He flies about Gotham spraying his blood all over the citizens until he's about to pass out. He has Damian take over remotely because he knows Damian won't stop until the job is complete. And pretty soon, the job is complete!
And The Batman is dead!
Afterward, Batman tracks down The Scarecrow with the help of the little girl from earlier. The Scarecrow sees the little girl in Gordon's car and gives up without a fight. Or maybe he just passed out from the loss of blood since he never got that hole stitched up after Batman blew off half of his jaw with the Batgrapple.
After everything is said and done, Bruce goes to watch Natalya play her concert. They go home together so he can look like a fairly good guy before he dumps her ass for the next hot woman with a major career who comes along. See, he only goes for women who have invested a lot of time in becoming the top of their field. That way he can dump them while they think the relationship just wasn't working because they and Bruce are just both too busy with their respective careers! Also he probably pees on them a little bit and they get freaked out.
Next issue: The Mad Hatter!
Batman: The Dark Knight #15 Rating: +2 Ranking. This comic has come a long way since its first Scarecrow story. Wow that thing was horrendous. But now it's delivered the Scarecrow story that it probably should have begun with. I wonder if there will be another Scarecrow story after the Mad Hatter story?