Action Comics #16

I wonder if the entire Reboot was a prank played on everyone by Vyndktvx?

This issue begins in 3030 CE in the Megurb (Mega Urban City?) of Nugothotropolis. I guess urban sprawl finally joined these two cities even if the sprawl had to cross a bay to do it. Or a full state. Or half a continent. Sometimes DC's geography can be a little slippery.

The Legion of Super-heroes are sneaking about trying to get back into their old headquarters. It looks like they're not officially a team in this version of the future although they're still working together. They're up to no good and I, for one, hope they all get caught and killed! Especially since I thought I was beginning to like their comic book and then Levitz wrote Issue #15 which was basically just dinosaurs stomping around Spain. It was not good.

How cute! They're all grown up! I wonder if there's an official form they have to fill out to change Lad, Boy, and Girl to Man and Woman.

The Legion are breaking into their headquarters to secure the last Time Bubble left in all of existence! Or at least all of existence in this future. And I guess this future isn't a Flashpoint future since they're going to go back in time. The three original Legion members hop aboard the Time Bubble and zip back in time to the Metropolis of yesterday. Exactly yesterday, according to the narration box.
Or maybe they don't. At least not yet. The scene simply moves to yesterday. Perhaps that's because Legion will arrive today. That makes sense, right?

That's Superman returning from Mars. But now he's aware that the timeline is all fudged up by Vyndktvx.

Superman tells Lois and Jimmy to go find Mister Triple XXX at Metropolis General so that he can save all the days. Superman is way out of his league on this fight, so it's a good thing he knows it. Currently he's just in an interplanetary brawl with Doctor Xa-Du, the escapee from the Phantom Zone.

Susie appears and fucks with Superman's mind with her Super Evolved Human powers. Apparently she (along with all the other people Superman has been in conflict with in Action Comics) has made a deal with The Little Man From Another Dimension. Susie's too young to be responsible for signing a contract! Anyway, how can that deal hold up in interdimensional court? Vyndktvx has the power of the 5th Dimension behind him! He can just access any timeline where the other person agrees to his contract so there isn't any way for anybody to say no to him! Lois convinces Susie that she doesn't want to hurt Superman so at least that problem is solved. Now if Jimmy would only hurry up and go wake up Mxyzptlk, Grant Morrison's run on Action Comics can end exactly where it left off as Mxy fixes up the timelines.

And then Vyndktvx appears with his End of the World Deal for everyone.

Deal!

A day later (I guess. Remember, time is slipping all over the place), the Doctor Xa-Du and the K-Men have Superman beaten and at their mercy. But before they can kill his soul with Blue Kryptonite Power (worst power ever since there's no such thing as a soul! Ha ha! Loser!), Krypto and Metalek arrive to save the day!

Krypto might have gone rabid since we last saw him.

While Lois and Jimmy arrive at Mxyzptlk's side just in time to save him from Nimrod, Lex Luthor has built one of those transdimensional dealies like his like-a-look on Earth 23 built way back in Issue #9. This results in the exact same thing that happened to that racist Luthor: The Mega-Brand Corporate Superman comes through!

That little prick thinks he has everything under control. He probably should have begun all of his plans with killing Mxyzptlk. Unless he couldn't because Mxy is also a 5th Dimensional being and things between Vyndktvx and Mxyzptlk have to be done in their own weird linear way on the 5th Dimensional level.

Lois and Jimmy can't wake up Mxyzptlk but that's okay because that's when the Legion of Super-heroes arrive to really confuse things! Now we have different timelines and time travelers and creatures from other Earths as well! What a fucking great mess Vyndktvx has created! And it all makes for a pretty awesome comic book which isn't over yet! I thought this issue was the grand finale but it looks like we've got one more with Grant Morrison at the helm.

At this point in the story, Grant has really tied in just about every story from every issue up until this point. I'd forgotten about the Corporate Superbranded Superman from Earth 5 until now. It's about ready to finish Superman when this thing ends. I guess it's all down to Mxyzptlk to even the odds somehow. But I'm sure it'll still be up to Superman to save the day. I hope he gets Vyndktvx to say Xvtkdnyv!

The Sholly Fisch back-up story is called "Future Tense" about the Legion of Super-heroes. I think every writer at some point has to call a story "Past Tense" or "Future Tense" or "Present Tense, Past Imperfect" or "Future Imperfect, Past Continuous" or "Past Perfect, Future Sucks." In the story, the Legion save a future president from an assassin. The assassin is from a planet of pre-cogs and he saw the horrible future that would happen if this man were elected. Legion saves the day and the president leaves and he transforms into his real self: Universo, Master of Hypnosis! But even though he makes the future crappy, he still doesn't manage to stop Cosmic Man, Lightning Man, and Saturn Woman from heading back to the future to help save Superman.

Action Comics #16 Rating: No change. It's nice to see how everything in Morrison's run has come together as Vyndktvx's plan to destroy Superman. He's a 5th Dimensional being so all Morrison really needed for him to succeed at his plan was one comic and a few narration boxes telling the reader how space/time has been manipulated to bring Superman to his knees. Instead Morrison weaves a single story out of seventeen issues all telling separate stories on their own but culminating in Superman's defeat. That's how the story of a villain with a master plan should be told. Excellent.

I have a feeling that Grant Morrison's Action Comics run is going to end with Superman pinned by the train in Issue #1 after everything gets set right. That would actually be a really nice place to begin Diggle's run if he's going to tell some Superman versus Lex Luthor stories.