Time to see Kyle get his brains fucked out by the Star Sapphire version of Kilowog.
Since tapping into his early years when his father left didn't pan out, the Star Sapphires try another moment when he should have been able to express his feelings.
G'nort! Arisia! Tomar-Re! The crystal guy, umm, Chaselon! Kilowog! Salaak! B'dg (or Ch'p. But it looks more squirrely than badgery). And the other lesser known human Green Lanterns!
As the narrative finds its way out of Kyle's memories and back to Zamaron (which has now found its way back to Sector 1416 where it belongs), we learn that Sapphire 3 (the female Kilowog) does not have enough time to get past first base and really teach Kyle about love because Ganthet is coming to kill Kyle Raynor. DC has really gone crazy on the "shoot your own dog" motif this month. I probably should have been keeping a list detailing every moment when someone needed to end the life or put a stop to someone they were responsible for. I think it's all leading up to Batman shooting his insane clown dog in the creek with the rest of the Bat-family hot on their trail looking for blood.
And then the meeting that will eventually teach Kyle how to love begins.
In the next panel, Ganthet "FWASHES" Kyle. Some of you now what that means. I just thought it was too awkward to scan because who wants to see the man you think of as your father's vagina?
Just as Kyle and the Star Sapphires have Ganthet on the ropes, his army of Borg Lanterns appears looking to destroy love since love often leads to masturbation when one partner is simply too tired or ejaculates early and falls asleep on top of you. And the Guardians of the Universe simply can't have any of that going on in their Universe. But the Star Sapphires are hyper-focused on taking out Ganthet and they just kind of ignore the Borg Lanterns.
And then Ganthet FWASHES Kyle one more time, nearly killing him. That's totally understandable.
His new name should be RAF W. HCL!
New Guardians #16 Rating: No change. Is that all it takes to become the most powerful person in the universe? To be the most angry, selfish, intimidating, stubborn, optimistic, and caring lover in the universe? Damn. I should be a White Lantern! I get through all of those emotions every time I masturbate! Is the fact that Kyle is now all in white and shoots white goop out of his fingers a metaphor for something?