Deathstroke #16

Has Deathstroke displayed any healing powers so far in this comic? I know he sat in a tub of ice one time to feel better. But that's not quite the same as his Preboot healing powers.

The main thing I learned from reading last month's issue of Deathstroke was that I apparently dislike the New 52 version of Deathstroke. Maybe I dislike the Preboot version of Deathstroke too now that I'm older! Who knows? But I kept complaining about the writers on this title but the writers have apparently been awfully consistent. They all make him suck. Well, at least he's on a real mission this issue instead of battling yet another asshole trying to build his reputation. This issue, Deathstroke must kill Koschei the Deathless!

Actually, he has to trick Koschei into killing himself.

Deathstroke has just escaped nearly dying while getting all the information he needed to kill Koschei. He's now met his contact, Elena, and they're taking a break in the safe house.

Batman is obviously one of the three. But who else? Red Robin? Nightwing? Deadborn?

Elena has been preparing citizens of Sarvenia to overthrow Koschei's men once Koschei is killed by Deathstroke. I mean killed by himself. But until then, they have to hide in Elena's secret basement practicing killing guards with broken bottles and dodging bullets while throwing stones. In reality, they should all just take a fucking nap and let Deathstroke kill everybody that needs to be killed. I'm pretty sure he can do it. Just have a nice tub of ice ready for him when he gets done.

I think she just called Deathstroke a tool.

Deathstroke reveals his big plan to Elena: Elena will kill Koschei. Well fuck! Why didn't she think of that? He's only unkillable, right? Maybe Koschei said, "No man shall kill me!" so Deathstroke decided he'd pull a Lord of the Rings on Koschei and have a woman kill him! But then I looked back at the panels where Deathstroke intuited how to defeat Koschei and Koschei merely says, "No one." So I have no idea what Deathstroke's plan is except to maybe have the rebels act as a distraction.

Yep. Distraction it is!

After Koschei kills a dozen men, Deathstroke appears and cuts off Koschei's head. It doesn't take although if Deathstroke had stolen the head and thrown it in the river, Koschei would have been pretty well fucked. Instead, Deathstroke allows Koschei's body to put its head back on and continue the fight. It seems Deathstroke is trying to convince the people to keep fighting back until Koschei is driven away (or, maybe, killed) so he's showing them the damage that can be done to Koschei. What it really looks like he's doing is showing them what a true monster Koschei is and they should be right to be afraid of him! But I guess with the proper movie speech motivation, fear can be overcome!

I think this calls for separate jars. Lots and lots of little separate jars.

After the villagers are through mutilating Koschei, Deathstroke gives him one chance. One single chance to kill himself. If he doesn't, this will be his future. To be hacked to pieces on a constant basis. Butchered. Mutilated. Probably squicked on the odd occasion. Koschei decides to kill himself instead of having peasants touching him day in and day out.

And then Deathstroke gets a message from Peabody.

So what else is new?

Deathstroke #16 Rating: +1 Ranking. Hey! Whattya know? This issue was the kind of thing I expect from a Deathstroke comic book! Except for that bit at the end where everybody is apparently trying to kill him. But maybe that's because of the hit that was made on him by that conglomerate of white business men (criminals!) that pooled their change to put a hit on Deathstroke. At least that hit makes sense because he's fucked up their business with his mercenary contracts, so they have an economic reason to be rid of Slade. I just hope the comic book stops being stupid. That's about as intellectual as I can get!