Green Lantern #16

Would the inclusion of B'dg make this cover too silly? If you're going to seriously include a space squirrel in your drama, at least allow him on the cover in serious moments.

The very first text box in Green Lantern #16 says, "This takes place before Green Lantern Corps #16." You know what would have been helpful seeing as how both Green Lantern Corps #16 and Green Lantern #16 came out the same week? If Green Lantern Corps had begun with a box saying it took place after Green Lantern #16! At least Green Lantern Corps #16 didn't rely too heavily on plot points that the reader couldn't extrapolate for himself after the events of Green Lantern #15. But this is still an example of the DC Editors fucking up. Very slightly. But still! A fuck up!

What a sassy space squirrel.

For an organization that's millions of years old (unless it's just thousands), you'd think they'd be prepared for recruitment better than they are. B'dg acts like this is the first time a Green Lantern has received a ring without proper training. The way the ring recruits, you would suspect this to be the norm. It's not like the battery goes flying about with the ring on the trip to find a new bearer. How many recruits are killed without realizing the ring can run out of power and decide to take a short flight through space when the power gives out? There are some severe safety issues with this item. And the Guardians are way too pompous to care. Bastards.

Somebody finally believes that Simon Baz is innocent of the terrorism charge and it's a good thing it's an FBI agent. Agent Fed makes a call in to Waller to let her now not to worry about the new Green Lantern while Simon and B'dg head off to find Simon's Battery. And maybe look for Hal Jordan a little bit.

I thought the Green Lanterns stopped shoving their batteries into pocket dimensions? And if they can do that with the ring, why can't they teleport like the Indigo Lanterns? Accessing a single spot in a pocket dimension from anywhere in space seems like just a minor step away from using the ring to teleport?

Because Simon Baz is smart enough to realize this whole Green Lantern Corps has a fuckload of flaws in its system, he decides to carry a gun as well. Because if you really want to feel safe, nothing better than wearing a gun on your hip! Although to truly feel safe, you don't want any guns on anybody else's hips especially if they have brown skin and Arabic tattoos or look like they belong in NWA. I'm pretty sure most hypocrites in the NRA wouldn't feel bad about a law that banned minorities from owning guns. Because whether it's being said or not, you know there is a lot of racial motivation in play for a lot of pro-gun people. Now me? I'm just glad that fucking squirrel isn't packing.

With B'dg's help, Simon Baz finally extricates the two messages from the ring. They don't actually give him any pointers on becoming a Green Lantern. I wonder if there is a third message that usually plays, kind of like one of those old educational films that were often ludicrous and offensive by today's standards. The message from Hal Jordan tells Baz (and B'dg) that the Guardians are fucking cuckoo but Hal thinks he knows how to help them. He also mentions that he and Sinestro were sucked into The Black Hand's ring. Oh? Is that where they went? I had no idea! And then he finishes up with some nonsense about how much he loves Carol Ferris. No, no you don't, Hal Jordan. You just love the idea of having a normal love affair while being allowed to gallivant across the galaxy punching aliens in the face (unless their genitals look like their faces and then Hal punches them in the genitals).

And then Simon taps into Sinestro's message.

Yeah, I don't think Arkillo will be much help anymore. He and his new best friend Saint Walker are doing just fine without Sinestro.

I like Sinestro's plan better than Hal Jordan's plan. I was really hoping that this crossover would obliterate the Guardians of the Universe once and for all. I suppose the core group of Guardians will be defeated or changed by Indigo Power Rings and the normal Guardian Duties will be taken up by the Bohemian group of Guardians that were guarding the first Green Lantern. The other thing I really like about the mix of messages is how Simon Baz is the one guy on Earth most like both Hal and Sinestro. So he has a good mix of their qualities. Hopefully he has all of their bad qualities! Then he'd be an arrogant idiot that demands order at any cost.

Except create F-18 missiles. You have to use it to steal those.

After telling Simon that the ring can do anything he wills it to, B'dg has to quickly backtrack and eat his words after Simon tries to use it to cure his comatose brother-in-law. "Oh, um, yeah. Did I forget to mention it doesn't work to heal things? Kind of need a Blue Lantern for that. Whoops!" But Simon believes with all of his might like no other Green Lantern has ever believed before! Because he's got the best qualities of Hal Jordan and Sinestro. He has the power to truly get the most out of the ring like Sinestro. And he doesn't listen to or believe the rules laid out before him like Hal Jordan. He has the imagination and the ability and could, quite possibly, be the strongest Green Lantern yet.

I like this second panel quite a bit. Earlier, Simon interrupted Sira before she could call B'dg a squirrel and said, "He's a Green Lantern." It's a nice moment to see a group of people that are probably constantly being judged by their race living in Dearborn show respect to a flying space squirrel by acknowledging what he is instead of what he looks like. This is in contrast to Agent Fed calling B'dg a squirrel and a chipmunk. And, um, in contrast to me as well. Fuck you for trying to make me feel guilty, Geoff Johns! It didn't work! I don't know how to feel guilty!

While in the hospital, B'dg catches a news report of Guy Gardner in police custody. What would the world of comic books do without the ever present news program feeding them information? They head off to save Guy Gardner before looking for Hal Jordan.

While I was typing that last paragraph, I'd set the comic book down with it open to the last page which I hadn't read yet. And as I glanced over, I saw the dark hooded figure from last issue that was confronting Hal and Sinestro in the Dead Zone (or inside the Black Ring, apparently). His hood is now off and I just thought, "Tomar-Re?"

I had no idea he was dead.

Green Lantern #16 Rating: +2 Ranking. This whole issue was nicely paced and served well to help establish Simon Baz as the next big deal Green Lantern. I already like him a bajillion times better than I like Hal Jordan.