Saturday, January 12, 2013

Earth 2 #8

Is that Lashina with Steppenwolf?

As you can see from the cover, Steppenwolf was not the mystery person to follow Supergirl and Robin through the Boom Tube to Earth 0. He's taken up residence in a small country called Dehrain that has closed its borders to the rest of the world in the wake of the Apokolips conflict. Apparently this country had helped Darkseid and his minions so the rest of the world hates their guts. Steppenwolf is welcomed with open arms (as long as he doesn't start any more trouble).

If your race doesn't require sustenance, why would you shove food in your face hole? Where is it going to go? You must not have a digestive system. Or has your race simply grown past the need to digest food and now your whole digestive system is just a vestigial system? Maybe it's now simply used for shoplifting and parlor tricks.

While Steppenwolf is cramming food into his body so that it can just sit inside him and rot, the guards outside the palace are waiting for the order to kill him. Oh, I guess the welcome wasn't as open armed as I thought it was! The ruler is just using Steppenwolf to get his technology and then they plan on capturing him and turning him over to the World Army for a huge bounty. Except I don't think the World Army is going to pay a bounty to a rogue nation! They should think twice about this plan. Especially the part where they believe they can kill Steppenwolf with only one nation's worth of soldiers.

Of course Steppenwolf knows what's up because that's what happens in comic books. Nobody can ever have a secret advantage over anybody else. Well, that's not true. The person who thinks they have the secret advantage is usually giving the advantage to the other person because the other person will always know the secret and thus have a secret, secret advantage, if you follow. And Steppenwolf has one soldier still loyal to him.

I was not wondering where Wonder Woman's daughter was this whole time even though I should have been! They even name her on the cover and I was too dense to notice. I wonder if her baby has become Dream yet?

Steppenwolf and Fury didn't drop by Dherain simply for the festivities, food, and fighting. Steppenwolf wants to rule over a country with a non-aggression treaty with the rest of Earth. Will the World Army honor the treaty even when Steppenwolf takes the throne? Probably! But I bet they'll be all bitter and angsty about it! Except for Terry Sloan. That bastard will probably begin making deals with Steppenwolf if he hasn't already.

Seeing Steppenwolf slicing up soldiers with his lava axe (I think it was some form of electro-axe before but this one looks like it's made of lava) makes me want to dig out my Super Friends Action Figures. It also makes me want to go out and buy some of the New 52 action figures! But why? What would I do with them? They'd just stand around mocking me. Maybe if I reorganized my office, I could display them proudly! I could leave them out in the open because I don't have any stupid kids to come along and break them! Then I could play war and throw darts at them!

Or maybe I could just save my money for candy.

Steppenwolf and Fury defeat Dherain's army and Steppenwolf beheads the king. Immediately everyone bows down to Steppenwolf and they accept him as ruler. At least those standing right in front of him and his gigantic axe. I'm sure there is already a rebel group having a clandestine meeting in the cellar of the library to devise a plan to oust this fascist tyrant. Although that would have to be dealt with in another comic book because this comic book will probably deal with the World Army and the new Wonders trying to capture or kill Steppenwolf.

Next issue: Doctor Fate!

Earth 2 #8 Rating: No change. Nothing special and nothing horrible in this comic. Earth 2 continues to unfold slowly. Now I don't mind stories that take their time. But it's difficult to feel satisfied when a comic book is a mere 20 pages long. Although I'm really glad they're no longer than that or else this blog would take even longer to write each week. Anyway, the cover really says all that needs to be said! Fury and Steppenwolf make the scene! Next!

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