Monday, January 28, 2013

Wonder Woman #16

This is pretty disgusting. Although not quite as disgusting as when Superman was defeated by rotting teeth in Justice League Dark.

Last issue, Wesley Willis became an important member of Wonder Woman's cast. The character Milan, Wonder Woman's half-brother, is based on the too soon gone schizophrenic singer. Milan has the power of sight which he doesn't like to use because the power of sight is actually schizophrenia. But Orion and Wonder Woman both need him to use this power. Wonder Woman needs to find another half-sibling and Orion probably needs to find Darkseid's daughter (or somebody else that threatens to end the universe in some way that had to do with Mother Box or the Anti-life equation or some other piece of New Gods Mythos that I forgot).

But that's just the current shit going on. Also currently happening: Zeus has disappeared; Zola's child by Zeus (which may or may not be Zeus himself!) has been kidnapped by Hermes and Demeter; The First Born has dug his way out of his prison in Antarctica to kill Zeus and take the throne of Olympus; Apollo has just taken the throne so he's fucked; Hades has learned to love himself thanks to Eros's bullets and a mirror; and Hera has become Mortal and is sharing an apartment in New York with Zola and Wonder Woman. I think that about does it for the recap.

The action continues in the subway tunnels of New York as Lennox, Orion, Milan, and Wonder Woman try to straighten out some family business. Things were beginning to look like a gigantic brawl until Milan vomited flies onto everybody. That stopped them in their tracks on the tracks. Meanwhile above ground, Hera and Zola were getting to know each other over drinks.

They're joined by Ares. Who let him in the bar with bloody bare feet? Fucking Gods think they own the place.

I was never a fan of gin simply because it tasted strange. While a lot of hard liquor simply tastes like liquor (or gasoline), Gin actually tastes medicinal to me. Perhaps it's the Juniper Berry flavor. Or simply that it reminds me how I can never breathe in hot weather if I'm anywhere near a Juniper. Or maybe it stems from a long-forgotten past life where I was an apothecary concocting panaceas for the nobles and accidentally ended a notable family line by giving them alcohol poisoning with one of my triple gin and hard grain alcohol recipes. That last one seems the most probable.

Down in the subway, Milan sucks back down his flies once everyone promises to stop fighting. Now maybe Orion will explain why he's causing trouble.

Orion fighting a baby might be the only thing that could top Midnighter battling Dex-Starr.

That was easy enough! Tied those two plot lines together nice and painlessly, he did! I don't think Wonder Woman knows anything about Orion. But Milan obviously knows him. What would Wonder Woman think if she knew this was the son of Darkseid? I don't believe she'd think anything. I bet she'd just start swinging her swords again.

Once things calm down, Wonder Woman is able to use her greatest power on Milan: her compassion. She convinces him that his power is needed to keep Zola's baby from being taught to be bad. She's kind to him and understanding. So he uses his power to see everything to help her out. That's a nice description of shizophrenia. The ability to see everything all at once.

Milan sees the baby with the Bird Man and the Tree Lady. Wonder Woman realizes Hermes has taken the baby to Demeter but she doesn't know where to find Demeter. But Lennox reminds her they have Hera who can help with that. Milan mentions one more thing.

Who cares? Who's he going to tell?

Back at the bar while Ares and Hera discuss which of Hera's children she unloves the most, Zola wanders off to the bathroom to meet yet another God or Demi-God. He's got red hair and red eyes and sharp teeth and I don't know if he's appeared before or not because my memory isn't photogenic. Or photographic either. She then enters the bathroom to vomit after this new God explains the atrocities that Ares is capable of. It's in the bathroom that Strife reappears to cause more trouble. Because there isn't enough shit going down already.

Wonder Woman #16 Rating: No change. For people that don't care for reading comic books in monthly installments, I highly recommend picking up Wonder Woman in trade paperback form. Everything about it is fun but the dialogue makes the book. And it probably reads really well in one extended sitting. At least you'll have no problem recognizing all of the different characters when they reappear. This is one of those comic books that if you aren't reading, you shouldn't be reading my spoilery commentary. You should actually be reading the comic book! Besides, I end up doing a lot more reading and gazing at Cliff Chiang's fantastic art than I do writing jokes about the book. It's just too interesting to keep interrupting myself.

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