Demon Knights #16

Is this Cain teaming up with one of the first recorded Talons? How fucking old is the Court of Owls? Maybe she simply works at middle ages Hooters.

I see Demon Knights has a new writer, Robert Venditti. His credits include The Surrogates which was made into a Bruce Willis film that I never saw. He has a Masters Degree in Creative Writing so I'm expecting well written crap from him. He's also going to be writer on Constantine when it launches in March. I'm really looking forward to that title so this guy had better bring the goods! Also, I hope he writes well.

This issue begins thirty years after the Battle of Avalon from last issue. And it gives a date of 1043! My only real guess as to the time that Demon Knights was taking place was that it was between 750 CE and 1066 CE.. I guessed those dates based on a single panel where a resident of Britain tells the Demon Knights his family name and some history. He mentions he had viking relatives which meant the comic had to be taking place in The Dark Ages but after the vikings had spread their seed all over the unwilling women of Britain. Also all over the crops and the walls and the livestock and the stone circles. Um, anyway, the comic book now has a date! Yay!

The scene has shifted to Saxony where a bunch of vampires are currently massacring a small village.

It's the Unknown Soldier!

I like the idea of vampirism being the mark that God put upon Cain. In an earlier panel, Cain refers to turning villagers into vampires as placing his "mark" in their blood. It makes sense because Mr. Old Testament God had a bad habit of punishing the wrong people or creating punishments that weren't really punishments at all. The Mark of Cain fulfills both of those criteria! It's not much of a punishment to give a guy immortality and mark that will keep him safe from violence. And God's punishing everybody else by creating this evil bastard that now needs to feed on human blood! That God is a fucking jerk! And I can say that without fear because he'll just punish my next door neighbor's dog when he reads what I just wrote!

Yes, God reads my commentary.

Meanwhile in Lusitania, the Horsewoman is being hunted by men on gigantic armored buffalo. For the first time in the comic book, the reader is privy to her ability to speak with horses. It's not as good as an ability to speak with fish though because fish are fascinating and know a lot of secrets. Horses are usually just, "Yo pony? You gotz carrot? How 'bout'm applez? Nah? No applez? Gorks, I love me some applez. How 'bout'm carrots? Not gots none? Hmm. Hey pony? I asked you 'bout them carrots yet? How's my mane look? Fierce?" Fish, on the other hand, are always, "Hey hey hey hey! How y'all doing? I was just swimming around my favorite sunken Spanish Galleon full of gold! It's my favorite place to poop and no humans have ever found it! Yeah, yeah! You speak good fish so I'll show you where it's at! No problem, man! It's nice to see a surface dweller that can speak fish. You learn from a Tuna? Yeah, yeah. I can hear the accent. Anyway, here's the Galleon decorated with my poop strings. Cool, right?"

Ugh. See what I mean?

The hunters manage to give Maelstrom all of their carrots at once. It's too much! Maelstrom collapses and wants to pass over the Rainbow Carrot but the Horsewoman must first set it free. Apparently the Horsewoman somehow stays young by bonding with horses. This bond keeps the horses young as well. So while I knew four of the seven Demon Knights were immortal, I didn't know about the Horsewoman. Looks like as long as she's bonded with a horse, she doesn't age. That just leaves the question of Exoristos and Al-Jabr. And since thirty years have passed, we'll see how good they look when they appear in this story.

The hunters capture the Horsewoman to take her back to the city and collect a bounty on her. As for Maelstrom, he's chopped up and kept for dinner. The Bison Riders take the Horsewoman to Al-Wadi, "a city of innovation and wonder [in] the heart of Moorish Spain." Hey! Moorish Spain! That's where my ancestors are from! It's in Al-Wadi that she's reunited with Sir Ystin of the Double Genitalia and Exoristos the Exiled Amazon.

Still looking good thirty years later. Do Amazons age slower or was immortality part of her deal with Lucifer?

Not surprisingly, Al-Jabr is the caliph of Al-Wadi. He put the bounty on the heads of his fellow Demon Knights not to punish or jail them but to gather them together once again. He probably should have made that clear to his underlings before they decided to piss off an already pissed off Amazon. It seems Al-Jabr was the only Demon Knight that was not immortal. That's what happens when you believe in the truth of the universe and rely on science and natural laws! You get old and die! Fuck you, Science! Eat shit, Truth! I guess if I want to live forever I need to get in bed with those triple whores, religion, magic, and self-delusion!

Just a few pages in and I'm really enjoying Venditti's writing. I guess a Masters in Creative Writing actually means something! Also, Bernard Chang continues to do a phenomenal job on the art.

Al-Jabr informs this half of the Demon Knights that a monster named Cain is spreading a strange disease across Europe that turns people into cannibalistic monsters. And he's traveling with an Amazon in an ancient Hooters uniform. Perhaps that's all the Court of Owls was in the past? A restaurant franchise which began on Themyscira.

Exoristos, Sir Ystin, and the Horsewoman agree to try and stop Cain before he reaches Paradise Island. But Al-Jabr believes they'll need at least one other member of the Demon Knights. You know which one. This comic book isn't called Fairie Knights or Ancient Immortal Serial Killer Knights! There's only one thing standing in their way of gathering Jason Blood and his better half.

The Cow Howler! Oh, and Vandal Savage. So make that two things standing in their way!

It looks like Vandal Savage and Jason Blood had a bit of a falling out. Madame Xanadu no doubt took part in the shenanigans as well. And since Blood is immortal while linked to Etrigan, Savage is able to torture him as much as it pleases him. And Jason Blood is helpless to fight back for some reason.

Oh. That's probably the problem.

Demon Knights #16 Rating: +1 Ranking. I'm really surprised that DC found another talented writer! The only problem is he replaced a writer that was doing really good work on this book anyway! Ignoring the actual reasons that Paul Cornell left, it would have been nice if he'd stayed on here and Venditti took a book from DeFalco, Lobdell, or Nocenti! But as it stands, I'm glad he was put on this book instead of some hack or one of DC's editors or janitors or lawyers. I'm pleasantly surprised that a transition in writers went so smoothly. Even though Venditti is given a lot of latitude to change things up with the thirty years that passed between issues, he's remained true to the characters. I'm actually really optimistic for Constantine now! And I'm cautiously optimistic that the change in writers on Ravagers will mean good things for that punctuational disaster!