Everyone's completely sick of your fucking shit, John.
Blow job, heroin, or taking a huge dump?
I suppose he could also be hanging from a meathook with all of his Justice League Dark buddies! And he's woken up with Madame Xanadu trying to divine his future. That would startle me as well.
Looks like heroin wins!
Constantine remembers that the Justice Leagues had their asses kicked by a group that came from "a third Earth." Does nobody have an issue with people from a nicely numbered other Earth? Why is their Earth "Earth 3"? Who made the numbering system? What about Earth 2? What fucking number is the main Earth of the DCU? Is it just "Earth"? And why should it get special dispensation to not be among the numbered? Does Earth 2 think of itself as Earth 2? Perhaps The New 52's main Earth is "Earth X" and it's numbered designation is only referred to by people from other Earths who then label it with the number that we give their Earth? So The Crime Syndicate view this Earth as Earth 3. And the Justice Society view this Earth as Earth 2? But then why would everybody agree to call the Elseworlds Prestige Format Comic Book Earth, Earth 1?! Is it the one they all would like to be a part of? I hate all of the multiple Earths!
John has lost everybody but he's found himself back in The House of Mystery. So now it's time to rescue the others and get the fuck out of the Justice Business! This shit is crazy.
The House of Mystery decides Constantine needs some clues to figure out what to do next so it begins showing him ignored people suffering from loneliness and little black wisps that feed on their despair, building into anger and hurt and evil.
First appearance of Mad Hettie! She's a New Yorker now.
Outside of card: "Happy 8th Birthday!"
Inside of card: "Thanks for ruining your mom's vagina, you selfish bastard!"
Outside of card: "It was so nice to see you again!"
Inside of card: "Because I never expected to! It's been what? Ten fucking years? Asshole!"
Outside of card: "Congratulations on the promotion!"
Inside of card: "Now rape the world of its resources; lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead; and dance on the bodies of the poor and the weak to fulfill your own selfish desires! Good job!"
John learns that the Crime Syndicate won because we're all unfeeling bastards that have no sense of proportion! I carelessly stepped on a slug the other night because I wasn't watching every step I was making which means I can justify global thermonuclear war! Fuck me! There's no hope! We're all doomed!
"To fist you!"
Constantine finds his projection of Zatanna naked and in bed next to him. He actually begins to think this might be a preferable way to live his life. But isn't he the jerk that tore Shade out of practically the same fantasy in some hotel in bumfuck nowhere, living with a Madness version of Kathy George? Perhaps that's where John got this idea of withdrawal from the world?
Too bad it doesn't work out for him. Although she did cure him of his infection. He should be grateful for that much.
Chia Swamp Thing!