Monday, November 25, 2013

Worlds' Finest #17

You would think the focal point of this picture would be Power Girl's terrified face. Well, you would think that if you weren't a comic book reader anyway.

Apparently I can use my scanner as an alternate ice box because I left Worlds' Finest #17 in it overnight and I just set it down on my thermal-covered legs and almost got frostbite. How can a comic book get so cold? I think I may have purchased a Victor Fries Scanner/Cryobox.

Last issue, Power Girl's powers were acting a bit wonky and some mysterious tattooed Bender was running around New York burning down fashion shows. So what is the first thing Power Girl does when she loses her invulnerability? Locks herself in a hotel room for a week straight with the most powerful vibrator she can find!

I mean, she gets a tattoo! Although we aren't privy to everything she does, so this could be the second thing!

Karen doesn't actually get a tattoo because her invulnerability seems to be working again. But when the tattoo artist's needle breaks on her iron skin and he's perplexed about what happened to his really expensive equipment, do you think she ponies up the cash to pay for it, knowing that she's responsible? No, of course not! Fuck normal people and their desperate struggle to get by! Ruin his livelihood? Better just slink out and pretend you weren't to blame! And last issue, Helena busted out the beautiful window of a library she had broken into without so much as a care. These women are reckless and selfish!

I hope I don't turn the page and find Karen paying the guy for his broken needle now! Then I'd have to acknowledge that I was wrong and that's a sign of weakness! If I ever run for political office, somebody might point out that I once believed one thing and then changed my mind once the facts were shown to be different than I had believed! And only weak assholes change their opinions in the light of new facts!

By the way, The Huntress has a cute little tattoo of her parents.

What does having a tattoo have to do with purity? Don't make me call you an idiot, Karen the idiot.

Even if Karen got a tattoo, wouldn't her body just heal it up? Anthony the Tattoo Artist just complimented her on her beautiful, unmarked skin. But you'd expect her to have lots of scars since she does occasionally battle people that can bust her lips and break some bones. I bet if she managed to get a tattoo, it would clear up after spending just a few hours in the sun. Unless the ink were laced with Kryptonite!

Power Girl decides she needs some time in the sun so she pays $10 million dollars for a Space Tours lift into orbit. Where, even though her powers aren't currently trustworthy, she loses the space suit and climbs outside the shuttle.

I guess she knows her powers better than I do. But I'd still have just lain out by the pool.

While Power Girl recharges, The Huntress hunts. I wonder if The Huntress is currently Tierra Primera's Greatest Detective? Her father was probably a greater detective than the Batman on this Earth. And The Huntress was also taught tricks of the trade by Catwoman. I bet she's just about as good (if not better). Although she doesn't have an Alfred Pennyworth to help her out, so Batman does have that advantage over her. Whether she's the best or not, she's good enough to find The Shadow Bender that's been barbecuing models.

She's either pulling out pills or a buttplug. I guess it depends on whether she's using a tactic she learned from dad or mom.

Shadow Bender gets away by diving off of the bridge and deploying her Shadow-chute. She then argues with some police officers where she reveals her motives for burning the fuck out of fashion models:

Yeah, burning people to death seems an adequate response to the media's distortion of beauty.

Perhaps if we didn't insist on educating our children by telling them to sit down, be quiet, and believe what they're told, we wouldn't have a populace of people who unthinkingly accept the messages from advertisers and corporations that they're constantly exposed to. Perhaps if we taught children the ability to rationalize, to think logically and critically, to question even supposed authority figures, we'd have a populace less apt to be destroyed by the overall media message? Oh wait. But that would also create a populace that doesn't fall for the whole dream of a house, children, cell phone, comic books, internet, and whatever other monthly bills you can convince them they need so that they're a slave to any job the corporations deign to toss their way. I suppose low self-esteem, eating disorders, and depression in a large swath of the population is just the price we pay for making sure everybody falls in line and accrues a nice big debt so they can be more easily controlled. Good work, society!

For some reason, this little scene gave me Ann Nocenti flashbacks. I think I have PTAND: Post Traumatic Ann Nocenti Disorder.

And then Power Girl comes crashing back down to Earth completely out of control. And the Shadow Bender gets away again.

Worlds' Finest #17 Rating: No change. One of the things I really like about this comic book is that it always seems to save a few pages for Hel and Karen to just hang out. They're the best parts of this comic book and I wouldn't mind this comic merely being scenes from their lives without any super conflicts interrupting!

This was my favorite moment in this issue after the pilot of the Space Shuttle thought he was going to fuck Karen Starr in orbit:

Look at her showing him those two overturned fingers. She's totally into butt stuff. Which totally explains Helena's disgust at Karen touching her Ice Cream in Worlds' Finest #14, just like I thought!

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