Monday, November 25, 2013

Batman #25

They changed their sound so much that I just couldn't get into this album and completely stopped listening to anything new from them after it.

Did somebody forget to splash the paint on the cover of my Batman comic book? It looks like Hotblack Desiato's stuntship. It does look super cool right now while it's sitting there on top of my scanner. But as soon as I pick it up and read it, the cover will be decorated with fingerprints.

The issue begins with some military guys driving through whatever beach resort exists in Nigeria until they come upon a trap door buried in the sand. They're looking for somebody that is a part of something so they can get some other something or something. It's all very mysterious and full of sun glare. I think the comic book was designed to make you go blind as you stare for a long period of time at the cover, tracing the raised surfaces and just making out the off-black font set into the black background. And then you open the comic book and are struck down by all the light ever reflecting off the stark white page.

After the initial fuck you to my eyes, the comic settles back into dark Gotham (story title: "Dark City." Ha ha. Fuck you and your blinding ways, you dickbag creative team!) where the Police are engaged in one of their favorite (and most fruitless) pastimes: chasing The Goddamned Batman!

This issue had better be about this Batmobile being blown into a million tiny bits because I will accept no other reason for this not being Batman's current car.

Batman, of course, gets away because his car can climb walls and hang from ceilings. Just another day in the life of a failed Gotham City Police Department.

Gordon and Bullock are busy investigating some mysterious deaths caused by explosive bone growth. Pamela Isley works with one victim and says she saw a guy that looked "skeletal" walking around the Wayne Enterprises Botany Lab. I guess if a pale guy with severely fucked up dental work looks like a skeleton then Pamela's description was fairly accurate.

Meanwhile Alfred and Bruce discuss his reluctance to work with the Gotham Police Department.

I hardly know why it's a discussion at all! I think Alfred is just one of those people who has to play Devil's Advocate with every fucking decision you make.

Gordon (as you can see by his foot above) arrives at the mouth to the Batcave to discuss the murders of Wayne's employees with him. But Bruce doesn't want to have much to do with even Jim Gordon due to some ugly business involving the murder of Wayne's parents and a Gotham Police Department cover up. I'm sure it involves money somehow. Bruce sends Gordon off with a flock of bats and then heads over to see Lucius Fox about a Dr. Death that he used to work with.

And apparently still does.

The back-up story concerns the secret origin of Harper's electrician powers and the battery that saves Batman's life in the Court of Owls story. I'm pretty sure it's the same battery! This is comic books! Everything is connected!

Batman #25 Rating: -1 Ranking. Not that it was bad! I actually liked the interactions between all of the characters. But it was rather slow and I figure Wonder Woman could use a shot at the top if Batman wasn't going to completely bring his "A" Game this month.

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