Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Supergirl #8

I hope Perez's interior art is better than this cover.

This issue begins with the army and the New York police wanting to arrest Supergirl because that's always the way comic book writers think. The authorities are always too stupid to assess the situation and they just want to shoot something. You know, when I say it like that, it makes sense. Um, carry on!

Seriously, carry on! Not like a few bullets are going to hurt Supergirl anyway. She might as well just walk away as they try to stop her. Like kids throwing a tantrum, they'll eventually tire out. Or run out of ammunition. Or become so embarrassed by a girl pushing them easily away that they'll all pretend that they suddenly sprained an ankle and pout and whine that she got away.

Does the 'ye' indicate she speaks Kryptonian with an Irish accent?

It's the girl in the Ceremonial Garb! I knew she was important by the way she was dressed. It seems she has some kind of Language Super Power which is good. Hopefully she'll remain with Supergirl as her translator instead of just teaching Kara English! She'll have to lose some of the clothes though if she wants to be a sidekick. I think it's mandatory that sidekicks where less clothes than the super hero they're kicking the side of.

Supergirl doesn't do all of the correct things the cops demand so they open fire. Fucking fearful cops. A brave cop is one that keeps his fucking bullets in his gun. Supergirl doesn't like being shot at so she retreats taking the Irish girl with her. They land on the roof of a building and have a conversation.

Untrue! If you could speak it like a native, you wouldn't be saying 'ye' all the time! Supergirl is a native speaker and I haven't heard her say 'ye' once!

The name sounds familiar. I wonder if I should remember this language girl from somewhere. She can also speak any animal language she hears because every species on the planet has an intricate and comprehensive language of course. These pigeons find Supergirl beautiful because they're apparently into human beings.

Some helicopters attack next so Supergirl and Siobhan retreat even further. All the way to Siobhan's apartment where they bond a bit when they realize they've both lost their parents. It's fun bonding! Siobhan puts together an outfit for Supergirl so they can go out incognito and have a night on the town.

I wonder why Supergirl didn't punch Siobhan in the face when she began speaking to her? Supergirl has changed!

Super cute!

I really wish I could finish this saying that they had a lovely night on the town. Siobhan would finish her gig while Supergirl had her first white chocolate mocha with a hint of raspberry. A few gorgeous guys would hit on her and she'd smile politely but turn coyly back to the music without responding. A couple of Siobhan's fans would ask them out and they'd walk over to a dark bar filled with gyrating women. Siobhan would get a little drunk and disappear with one of her fans while Supergirl tried her first martini. She's get a little tipsy and soon the other fan would be sliding her hand slowly up Kara's skirt. And then Kara's vagina would explode in that blast of yellow light killing everyone in the bar.

Dammit! I didn't want it to end poorly! But I was writing fan fiction for a second there so everyone had to die. Anyways, the thing that actually happens is one of those things you expect to happen in a comic. The nice night turns bad as Siobhan's dead father attacks. Typical!

As an Irishman, it was either name himself Banshee or choose between Blarney, Leprechaun, or The Shillelagh.

This guy deals in magic so he hurts Supergirl easily. That's because the Super-Family has a problem dealing with magic. Remember Superman almost being killed by magic rotten teeth in Justice League Dark? Yeah. Embarrassing! But Supergirl doesn't need to defeat Black Banshee anyway. That's up to his daughter, Silver Banshee! I don't need to scan her picture because she's that ugly mofo on the cover. And she doesn't look any better on the final page of the comic.

Supergirl Issue #8 Rating: No change. It would have been nice if Supergirl didn't go from one catastrophe to another. Give her a one issue break already! I'm sure Green and Johnson thought the six page lull in-between action scenes was already threatening to bore the reader. You don't always need the protagonist involved in a fight, guys!

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