I, Vampire #7

Aha! The team will forever hate Madame Xanadu because she and the crystal guy signed them all up for The Real World: Andrew Bennett.

Andrew Bennett was just killed by Tig immediately after which the first vampire ever, Cain, rose up in his place. But Batman has a plan!
 

Get the fuck out!

Now, I thought they were in the basement of the courthouse where the old jail cells were. But this doesn't look like an escape out of a basement. But who cares, right? Whatever the story needs! Like what does Batman fire his grappling hook at? Does he know the Court of Owl's city that well that he can just aim and shoot and his hook catches on to something? I wonder if he's ever popped Robin or Nightwing in the face with his Bat-Grapple as they were swinging by on their own rope? I guess if I'm just going to ignore the fact that Batman should be lost underground right now while also in New York watching the JLI get blown up as well as running around with the Justice League as well as fighing the Scarecrow as well as doing all of the other shit he's always got the time for, I can ignore the fact that his Bat-Grapples always successfully find something to grapple.

It's not an easy thing to ignore! But I'm going to do it! It's just that everything else is always treated so realistically. Like the vampires.

Cain immediately takes charge and begins ordering the vampires about. But Mary's got a bit of a problem with this newbie thinking he knows whats the what.

Aha. That's why he suddenly appeared when Bennett died. Some kind of binding thing. But hey while I'm on the subject of things that should have happened when Bennett died, shouldn't Mary have been destroyed as well? I'm nearly positive that was pointed out in a previous issue that I don't feel like digging out and researching.

Meanwhile, Andrew Bennett is in a white room which is nowhere speaking with someone that won't reveal what it is. He's not technically dead but he doesn't quite exist right now either. The Mystery Voice tells Andrew the history of Cain. He existed long before most other things existed. Maybe he was made from the same stuff that was in the water that the Untitled drank from over in Red Hood and the Outlaws! He basically willed himself into being and eventually wandered the Earth. While wandering the Earth, he met a girl who he bit. She became his vampire princess and they created an army of vampires. Eventually, he was imprisoned inside of Andrew Bennett after he was defeated by "an army of great mystical warriors."

Looks like Etrigan to me! So the Demon Knights defeated him.

Once Bennett died, Cain was released. Except Bennett isn't really dead. He's just in some kind of limbo waiting for Deadman and John Constantine to rescue him.

Meanwhile, on the Courthouse Rooftop (that was some Bat-Grapple to swing them out of the basement and onto the roof!), Justice League Dark have arrived to help Batman, Tig, and John. Well, Tig and John, anyway. Once Batman sees he has reinforcements, he takes off to help Robin and save his city. Xanadu is currently useless and Shade and Zatanna's powers are being siphoned away by Cain. So everyone is kind of in trouble when suddenly Mary, Queen of Blood, turns up to help them out. She's a little bit angry that her plan was usurped and her troops taken over by big magic Vampire King. It's a good enough reason as any to switch sides and play the good guy for a little while.

Hee hee. The naked woman is judging the woman in lingerie. Notice the men aren't complaining about either one's outfits?

Mary manages to tear apart all of the vampires on the rooftop and save everyone's life for a moment. But Cain has very nearly taken all of their power and is beginning to look unstoppable. Maybe I should stop reading now so I don't have to see everyone die, right? It would be merciful on my part. Because surely Deadman and Constantine aren't going to be successful! They need to find the one weird pocket of nowhere that Bennett has ended up in? How are they going to manage that? Does John Constantine have a pubic hair of Andrew Bennett squirreled away in his bag of disgusting people parts? Oh! It's possible! He did meet up with him in that one issue!

By the time this issue ends, nobody comes along to save them. Everything looks bleak and Mary's pouting about the Primordial Evil taking the spotlight away from her.

No, you wouldn't have scored with Batman. You're more Nightwing's type.

I, Vampire #7 Rating: No change. Good comic but now I'm starting to dislike Andrew Bennett being killed since he hasn't really been killed but he doesn't really exist but he's nowhere but he's somewhere and some thing is speaking to him but can't tell him certain things but can blab a whole bunch of other shit. Not a big fan of that and so no climbing the ranks.