Catwoman #6

Cat claws can penetrate anything, even Batman body armor.

Catwoman ends up in a Gotham Police interrogation cell after being caught spending the cops' dirty money. They want their money back but Catwoman knows better than to make herself useless to a bunch of filthy, murdering, robbing police by giving up everything she knows. Most of what she knows is the location of the rest of the cash. Since Catwoman won't give up the location, they bring in a special interrogator.

This interrogation is about to get sexy! In a really violent and bloody way.

While Catwoman is busy getting her face rearranged, the good cop that wanted to investigate Catwoman for a recent string of robberies is told that Catwoman escaped while bringing her back to the station. But he's not as dumb as he's drawn. He realizes all of the bad cops have suddenly disappeared and has a sudden realization.

It must be a tough gig being an honest cop in Gotham. Constantly fighting on two fronts while they cripple your ability to do your job. Why does anybody live in Gotham? Low cost of living and high wages?

Meanwhile, in the back room, Reach continues to interrogate Catwoman. As I was typing interrogate, I made some air quotes because she's not really interrogating Catwoman at all! She's just beating the crap out of her.

This fight didn't turn out to be very sexy at all!

Reach is a giant moron because her name is Reach which implies she has the ability to keep at a distance while fighting someone. And then she goes and gets nice and close to Catwoman so Reach can have her ear bit off. It's like all those stupid fools in movies who have a gun and feel the need to stand one foot away from their enemy so that their enemy can remove the gun with a chop or kick. The main advantage of having a gun is that you don't need to stand next to the person to keep control, you stupid mongrel jerk-offs! Writers can be such lazy assholes.

I'm not really complaining about why Reach got close here. She was just a stupid overconfident green Super Villain who thought she had the upper hand and Catwoman was confessing quietly because of broken ribs and maybe a punctured lung. But any story where a guy gets his gun knocked out of his hand because he didn't keep his distance was written by a lazy writer. Unless the scene took place in an elevator. Then it's acceptable.

The good cop breaks into the interrogation and knocks Reach out with a riot stick. He then lets Catwoman go because he believes if he tries to arrest her in the normal, legal way, he and Catwoman would be killed. Boy, being a cop in Gotham really does suck! So instead he lets her go and probably goes back to his desk to push papers around and look innocent. I'm sure there's a good reason why no other cops were watching behind the one way mirror since, you know, two hot women were going to rough each other up a bit. No need to watch that. I'm sure the reason was probably doughnuts.

Catwoman escapes and finally (FINALLY [FINALLY!]) comes to the conclusion that maybe she should leave Gotham for awhile with her money. But some other guy has a different Bat-idea.

Someone's Bat-horrrrrrnnnnyyyyyy!

Batman and Catwoman have a big tussle (a violent one, not a sexual one. At least not sexual for Catwoman) because Batman thinks Catwoman shouldn't be a thief. He seems to think she should wear a pantsuit and work in Human Resources down at the Gotham Bank. Or something less dangerous. I'm sure it's because he'd be too embarrassed to face the rest of the Justice League if they knew he was boinking a criminal and allowing her to get away with it. Doesn't Batman care about Gotham?! So he yells at her like she's his teenaged step-daughter and forces her to give up the money.

Batman is totally co-dependent.

So Selina lets Batman keep the money which he'll probably return so that the Gotham Police will stop hunting for her. But that just means Batman sent her back out to commit more crimes. Because she's now a broke thief. What does he expect her to do? Sign up at Gotham Temp Agency? They'd probably just send her out to be a henchman to the Mad Hatter or The Riddler anyway! So Selina tracks down a new fence to find a new job to piss off Batman in new ways!

Catwoman Issue #6 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic might be good for Catwoman (or it might not be depending on how sexual you like your Catwomen) but it's definitely bad for Batman! He just comes off as a sexually frustrated control freak. I think Batman and Bruce Wayne are such different people that Batman doesn't get any kind of gratification or release from Bruce Wayne's sexual escapades. So Batman needs to get laid too! And he doesn't know how to handle that. It's not in any super hero guide book! How do you remain dark and grim and terrifying while trying to score some tail? Apparently you have to find someone as beat down and broken as Catwoman which is why he allows her free reign of Gotham. She was right about buying time by having sex with Batasshole. Boy does he come off as a creep in this book! It's pretty awesome, actually.