The Fury of Firestorm #7

Who didn't see this coming when he flew off on his own last issue?

Before Jason could flee the stadium at the end of last issue, the news camera crew caught him on tape flying about like a glowing cartoon atomic particle. Madame Cobra is not pleased.

I knew they liked turning things into butterflies!

See? More butterflies!

I'm not sure what Jason is doing at Zither Tech. He hates what it represents. He hates Lady Cobra. He hates Ronnie. He hates lying. But I guess he loves free trucks and cash. It's pretty despicable. I think I like Ronnie best because he's just a dumb asshole. But he sure knows a lot about football!

How profound! You stupid Candymancer(tm)! Every grade school kid who's played a pick up football game knows that!

Maybe I don't like Ronnie either! Who the fuck is left? Pozhar! I think Pozhar should be the star of the comic book. Except he's a self-righteous know-it-all. We might be too similar for me to like him. I think I'll just wait until some new Firestorms join the comic before I find one I like.

Ronniestorm is captured by, well, I don't know who. People who are up to no good, I suppose. Luckily for him, Pozhar is following him and Pozhar knows how to shoot a Firestorm Blast at a point in time where the enemy will be, not just where the enemy is when he looks up. So he's pretty good.

Oh! Oh! But Ronnie's mom has finally returned to the comic!

Oh Ronnie's Mom, how you've changed. I think I liked you better when Gail Simone was writing you.

Ronnie mom is worried but I think she's actually hitting on Jason's dad. Maybe she's into amputees. Before Ronnie's mom interrupted, Jason was trying to tell his dad that they have to leave because they can't trust Zither Tech. But why would Jason's dad want to leave that refrigerator packed full of cow? Free fucking beef, son! You don't walk away from FREE FUCKING BEEF!

Back in Terroristvania, Ronnie gets tortured by some scientist that wants to learn about the real Firestorm Protocol and not all the second-generation counterfeits running around the black market. But before he can get any information out of Ronnie, Pozhar arrives, defeating the rogue Firestorm Ashra Khan and the scientist as well. Although I don't think "defeat" is the proper term when a Super Powered Nuclear Man murders a non-powered human being who is also a little bit chubby.

WAS a little bit chubby.

Ronnie calls Pozhar to help him stop the pain from the strange green fire the torturer was using on him. Pozhar frees Ronnie Raymond and walks away. But Ronnie didn't want to be freed. Um. What? I guess he wanted Pozhar to kill him then? Probably. Because Ronnie is left disfigured and missing his left hand from the torture session. Ha ha!

The Fury of Firestorm The Nuclear Men #7 Rating: No change. I don't like Jason or Jasonstorm. I don't like Ronnie or Ronniestorm. I think my love affair with Ronnie's mom is over, so that doesn't interest me anymore. And Pozhar is just an arrogant jerk but he's the most likable character in the comic. I don't really care much about the plot either. What I'm saying is that I'm not a fan of Firestorm. The political intrigue and Nuclear Man arms race is not thrilling.