Blackhawks #8

Finally! A cover that probably represents the actual story inside. Maybe.

Andrew Lincoln, not yet fake dead, gets a report from the members of his team.

Reading the last issue of a cancelled comic is like the last day at a job or the final day of school. Who the fuck cares?

Kunoichi collapsed immediately after acting creepy last issue. So she's transported back to The Eyrie along with Irish and Lincoln and Canada. Lady Blackhawk and Attila remain behind with the prisoner, Hammer Steig, until the clean-up team arrives. I don't know who the Clean-up team are. Perhaps it should have been the comic to replace Blackhawks. Blackhawks: Clean-up Team! Sort of like the Legion of Substitute Heroes except with more vulgarity, poker, and unscheduled smoke breaks.

During her medical check-up, she stops faking unconsciousness and takes out Blackhawks: Medical Team!

Kunoichi hacks into the mainframe which is connected to a few other computers around the world due to some sort of global internet. Probably not the best idea. Look at what happened with the Brainiac A.I. on Krypton! Now Mother Machine is going to take over Earth unless Father Time or Brother Eye can stop her! Is there a Sister somewhere I'm missing out on? I bet she's hot.

How about I not even finish reading this final issue and just make up an ending? No, no. I won't do that. I promise.

Everything on the base shuts down and Mother Machine broadcasts to the entire base that she's about to change the world for the worst forever. Well, for the best in her eyes. But I'm pretty sure the best, to her, means eradicating humans. Canada recognizes her and flips out.

Apparently the artists were just phoning it in at this point. Literally phoning it in! They were calling up Mike Costa and telling him what they would draw and he'd have to draw it!

Immediately after this, having seen what Mother Machine can do, Canada puts a bullet in his head. Irish hears the shot and runs into the base, having been detained outside to scan him for Nanocites. As he's rushing toward Canada's body, Kunoichi steps out from around the corner.

She proceeds to do this for 11 pages before succeeding in killing Irish.

After Kunoichi murders Irish, she realizes her Nanocites have greatly improved everything about her human body, including pregnancy. They help the sperm to meet the egg, fertilize it, and help the fetus grow. Within minutes, Kunoichi is ready to give birth. And that's when Andrew Lincoln walks around the corner to find her!

Yeah, I didn't need to draw see that!

Lincoln loses his mind witnessing the birth of Kunoichi's baby and throws himself off of the cliff outside The Eyrie. He must survive somehow (probably with the Bouncy Inflation Shields they used on the attack of Hammer Industries last issue) but that isn't shown here. But since he comes back in Mister Terrific #8 saying he faked his own death, he survives somehow.

After Kunoichi/Mother Machine gives birth, she realizes that her baby is part human and part machine. She can no longer bring herself to destroy the human race. She promises to give her child that choice when it grows up. Kunoichi teleports away for good.

Lady Blackhawk and Attila arrive back at The Eyrie to find it in total chaos. Lady Blackhawk yells, "Everybody cool it!" and things go back to normal. She marries Attila and they rule The Eyrie happily ever after. The end!

That was one fucked up weird ending. But what the hell, right, Writer Mike Costa? I'd probably do the same thing if DiDio axed my comic so quickly.

Blackhawks #8 Rating: +3 Ranking! That ending was fucking awesome! High Five! Fist Bump! Anal Penetration! Goooooooooooo BLACKHAWKS!