Blue Beetle #7

Remember the good old days when comic book covers posed situations like "What is the mystery behind Pink Kryptonite?" or "The Day Robin Became Batboy!" Yeah, I don't remember those days either. That was a long time ago!

Jaime has arrived in New York City where I'm pretty sure you exit the airplane right into Times Square. Except he probably flew via his Blue Beetle wings. I'm not sure where you land as a Super Hero without attracting undue attention and then change into your normal clothing with nobody suspecting. Probably Times Square.

Jamie stops to listen to an entire show about another Glorious Godfrey type guy trying to turn everyone against super heroes. He sees that there is somehow footage of him fighting with Paco and threatening Brenda and it's made its way onto the internet. He learns he's now been labeled a Super Villain as well. I don't know how he learns all of this since I'm fairly certain they don't actually blare the sound on these giant televisions in public squares. Maybe he's tuned into the sound via Magic Scarab Technology.

While in New York, Jamie realizes he needs funds. He didn't even bring the obligatory runaway backpack! He's got nothing but the clothes on his back and the Scarab embedded in his spine. But that seems to be enough. The Scarab convinces Jaime to rob an ATM and Jaime pretends to believe that he'll pay the bank back sometime in his successful future. But the Scarab is a complete ignoramus as to how people rob things on Earth. Instead of having the ATM eject the money for Jaime, the Scarab makes all ATMs everywhere eject money! Or at least the ones in the vicinity.

Fifties? What is this? Vegas?

While Jaime is trying to find his way as a homeless youth with a horrible secret (you know, just another Lifetime Movie), the Scarab informs him that THE ENEMY is also located within New York. Now who could the Scarab see as the enemy? Guy Gardner, probably. And he is currently in New York getting his ass beat by OMAC!

The scene changes to some weird gray guy acting all weird and being weird to some normal New Yorker who isn't weird at all.

People actually let their cats roam outside in New York City? I don't buy this. And I don't buy the sound being audible on the giant Times Square monitor! Now I've never been to New York though, so I could be wrong. I guess cats roam every neighborhood everywhere because they are awesome.

This non-weird guy is looking for his 20 pound cat. That's a fucking huge cat. My cat is 18 pounds and he's a monster. Not a big fat Garfield type monster. He's shaped more like a raccoon.

The monster, Judas, is the big one. Pelafina is the other half of the abusive relationship. I'm pretty sure less than a minute after this picture was taken, Judas grabbed Pel and tried to rape her.

I bet that weird guy is behind the cats disappearing, right?

Or at least knows who is behind it!

That guy sitting in the dark in his apartment eating neighborhood cats? That's the way people who don't live in New York picture every other person who does live in New York! I'm not sure why this reminds me of Downtown, one of my favorite cartoons ever, but then I probably never know why anything reminds me of any other thing! Except for the New York part. And probably the weird stories about New York. So it makes sense!

Blue Beetle continues to search New York for another super hero. When he finally does find one, it turns out to be yet another villain that can phase through walls and is using the power to steal things. Although this is New York so maybe it's the same one that Static let go! It doesn't seem to be the french guy that Mister Terrific left to die in Iceland. But then it probably isn't either of them since the Scarab declared it's possibly a female.

Once Blue Beetle realizes that this Super Hero is robbing a jewelry store, he decides he has to act! I guess there's a big difference between robbing an ATM because you're hungry and robbing a jewelry store for unknown reasons. What a hypocrite!

What about vandalizing the store window? Is that okay?

The enemy isn't a female. It's a kid about the same age as Jaime. The kid is named Short Timer (like the cover!) and he fires Tachyon Bursts that cause things to age thousands of years in mere seconds. He's also intangible like previously noted. But the Scarab blasts him with something to take away the intangibility. And once the kid is hit, he aborts the mission and runs off scared.

Blue Beetle hangs around the jewelry store to protect the goods because he's a naive jerk from El Paso trying to make his way in New York City! And even though he saw that broadcast that showed the entire world he was a super villain (although, still, where the hell did they get that footage? And how did it become famous so fast when so many other catastrophes are happening! Like the United Nations bombing that killed Rocket Red and disabled a bunch of Justice Leaguers!). So when people arrive, they assume he was robbing the place and they drive him away. I bet that robbery makes the news as well now!

Meanwhile, the Short Timer heads back to the headquarters of his partner, Stopwatch.

Short Timer! Ah ha ha ha! He got you, super old kid!

Blue Beetle Issue #7 Rating: +1 Rating. I almost gave this comic a no change rating but it's so low on the charts that any issue that is better than decent should grant it a rise in the ranks. I also like that he's dealing with a Super Villain that is actually a criminal and not just someone trying to attack Blue Beetle. But I don't like the turning normal people against him thing. That's a bit over played in comics.