Green Lantern Corps #8

Is the Alpha War the Green Lantern Night of the Owls?

This issue begins with several Alpha Green Lanterns being recalled to base. My mind has just been replacing 'base' with 'Oa' while reading this page and now I'm wondering if it's something different. And what the fuck is an "Alpha" Green Lantern? The only Lantern's name I recognize is Boodikka. I think she was some big stone tough chick and I probably remember her from Green Lantern Corps Quarterly. Unless she was a big star in the Guy Gardner comic. But I've never read a regular Green Lantern title until The New 52.

Oh look! Here's the base on Oa on page two, panel one! It's a penis!

The Alpha Green Lanterns all seem to have their Power Battery located in their chest and their right arms are made of Green Lantern light. Or the arm with the attached hand wearing the ring. It's probably just a coincidence that they're all right handed. I'm sure this isn't any kind of slight against left handers.

They've gathered to review footage of John Stewart murdering Kirrt. I mean, John Stewart saving the universe. The Alphas are the Green Lantern version of Internal Affairs. They need to arrest John Stewart and make sure that he acted appropriately. Of course this will bring shame and dishonor to Kirrt when everyone sees that he was about to give up the entire universe just to avoid a little bit more pain. But you know, the Alpha Lanterns are a cross of the free will of the Green Lantern soldier and the cold, efficient logic of the Manhunters. And history has shown how well the Manhunters worked out for the universe.

Don't worry if you don't understand that last line. Millennium was a stupid cross-over event.
Green Lanterns' Internal Affairs have a rhyme as well!

OMG. That's awful. Misconduct must be answered for? I think these guys should actually be wearing white collars and ties.

Do the Green Lantern Office Managers have a chant as well?

"From early morning to end of day...
No paper clip shall go astray!
Every one do as I say...
Or else nobody gets their pay!

While Internal Affairs is getting ready to bust John's ass, the entire rest of the Green Lantern Corps are busy burying Sinestro's Main Yellow Lantern Battery beneath the surface of Oa. And it seems like only Guy Gardner thinks this is a bad idea. How come I'm the only guy with Guy on this one?

Calm down! Sinestro isn't even a Green Lantern anymore!

While everyone is frustrated with Guy Gardner screwing up their Yellow Battery Burial, Guy makes images with his ring showing scenes with everyone palling around with Sinestro.

Is this Freudian? Guy wants to play strip poker with TWO John Stewarts?

Guy gets called away by the Guardians and everybody "Ooohs" and "UH-OHS!" like kids at recess. Guy heads off to get his tongue lashing. He's probably been through enough of them. And what kind of punishment can the Oans ever give anyway? They're a non-threat! Until they become a gigantic cosmic threat, I mean. Which will probably be pretty soon.

Crap. Guy was the only one talking sense and now the Guardians agree with him. This must be Bizarro Oa.

And it just keeps getting weirder. Not weirder in a way I disagree with! Oh no! I'm on board with the following except for the fact that I think the Guardians are manipulating Guy Gardner for some reason.

A promotion? Way to go, Guy!

After Guy gets over his initial reaction which is mostly one of the "Bwa ha ha ha!" varieties (and might I say I'm happy to see Guy laugh like that here), the Guardians claim they're serious and plan to put Guy into a position as a kind of General to lead the rest of the Green Lanterns. And that is why this seems fishy. What is their plan here? They're obviously using Guy's arrogance and pride against him in some fashion. I can't even begin to speculate what's going on except that maybe they want to cause some kind of rift amongst the troops.

Later, after the promotion and the Yellow Battery is buried, Guy and John meet up at Guy's Warrior Bar on Oa for a few drinks and to relax. A few pages of really good comic and a scene that actually makes me laugh follow. And then a brawl breaks out in the bar with some mercenaries. But that doesn't cause the most damage to the bar. The stupid Internal Affairs Lanterns cause the most damage because they obviously don't know how to use a door.

Doesn't this count as "misconduct" or not "obeying the laws forevermore"? Where is Internal Affairs for Internal Affairs!? I know, I know. That question has been asked many times over.

Green Lantern Corps Issue #8 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic just gets better and better. It's no epic Sandman or V for Vendetta-esque masterpiece. But it's a great ride with a couple of good characters that Tomasi has a pretty good handle on. I'm enjoying it immensely.