Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Supergirl #7


Supergirl's new sidekick: Nonsuper Girl!

Supergirl found herself facing four Worldkillers at the end of the last issue. This issue begins with Reign telling Supergirl the history of the Worldkillers and then introducing them and their powers. The Worldkillers are normal aliens that were kidnapped from different homeworlds and then genetically modified to become weapons of planetary destruction. Wasn't Doomsday a Worldkiller as well? Or was he just a poor, abused experiment?

The Sabre-toothed Cat Worldkiller is named Deimax. His powers are super strength and invulnerability. His turn-ons include Mass Terrain Destruction and Licking His Own Butt. The Butterfly Worldkiller is named Flower of Heaven. Its powers include flight and energy creation and manipulation. Its turn-ons include Planetary Systems Overload and Sucking Nectar. The Feathered and Tentacled Lizard's name is Perrilus. Her powers are Poison/Virus generation and dissemination. Her turn-ons include Population Extinction and Tentacular Penetration.

Supergirl learns about a new power as she's fighting with Deimax the Catman.


Supergirl isn't going to have the only non-dangerous vagina in the DCnU!

After Supergirl explodes from the energy of the yellow sun tingling down in her lower abdomen, Flower of Heaven the Butterfly Hermaphrodite drains her level.


Level drained? Unacceptable! Quit and restore!

After this attack dazes Supergirl, Perrilus the Lizard Queen threatens to stick a nasty, infected stink finger in Supergirl's eye. That doesn't go over so well.


I wonder if all of her vulnerable orifices have this kind of defense?

Flower of Heaven's level drain didn't work very well. Supergirl is probably around Level 50 so making her Level 49 isn't exactly going to turn her into a helpless kindergartner. And you know how helpless those little bastards are. Helpless and unhelpful! Try doing some yardwork, you ungrateful little shit! Geez.

Supergirl realizes she should probably run since four against one isn't the best odds. The best odds are one against one. Some people might argue that the best odds are one against none but they're smart asses who will destroy the universe with their careless math.

Supergirl gets some helpful battle advice from Reign as they fight. That bitch just can't shut her mouth for one fucking second!


This reminds me of a moment from one of Brian Daley's Han Solo books where Han explains that if a star-fighter pilot can survive his first battle, he's likely to survive for many, many more. Why I remember that moment, I can't say. I looked up Brian Daley on the internet to make sure I had the name right after all these years and I surprised myself that I remembered that. I also found out he died at 49 years old.

Kara gets batted through three skyscrapers and into the ground. The rest of the Worldkillers show up and Deimax throws a subway at her. Where's Green Arrow when you need him? Kara can't run because Reign put a force field around New York that even Supergirl can't break through. The force field is stolen Kryptonian technology. Don't ask me how it works!


I told you to shut the fuck up! I knew you were eventually going to say too much, you stupid bit!

Supergirl takes Reign's advice to heart. Which advice? The advice that only a Worldkiller can kill another Worldkiller, of course! Why do these super villains always, ALWAYS, have to give up the secret to their defeat? You'd never catch me telling anyone that kittens and cupcakes paralyze me.


That's just a bad idea anyway, having a Kitten on your team and a member whose arms are basically strings. Also, Deimax is apparently a female as well.

After Kara cheats, Reign calls an end to the fight. She makes her team retreat to their ship to make sure Deimax doesn't die. Reign tells Supergirl that they will be back but for now, Earth is Kara's. And the Worldkillers will continue to search for the home planets they were stolen from. And then destroy them? She leaves Supergirl with one last piece of knowledge.


Doomsday! It was Doomsday!

And that's it. Supergirl ends the issue proud that she won her sparring match and got an A in Combat while wearing her Ceremonial Graduation Garb. The title of this issue was Graduation Day. I'm not sure how they can let her out of school without teaching her English though. That better happen soon!

Supergirl Issue #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. I enjoyed this issue and I think I promised Supergirl a rise in rank for that. So here it is. I'm not happy about it! This comic book is still mostly potential and not much pay-off.

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