Friday, October 14, 2016

Superman #8

The last time Dinosaur Island appeared in a comic, Superboy and Wonder Girl had a huge fuckfight on it.

The Commentary!
• Supergirl must have given Superman permission to use her Fortress of Solitude because Superman, Superboy, and Krypto are hanging out there building a plot device. Jon saw the specifications for the plot device in a dream (which is just another plot device to get characters to the plot device that will get the characters to Dinosaur Island!) which probably means somebody radioed the designs directly into his head. Somebody who needs Superman to visit Dinosaur Island!

• The plot device works its magic and suddenly father, son, and dog are on Dinosaur Island. But at first, they think maybe it's just Crashed Battleship Island!

• It's probably too many years past Lost to get a Lost joke, right? Although if Dan Jurgens were writing this, I bet there'd be a Love Boat joke!

• Superman is swallowed by a dinosaur fish as soon as they arrive. Not that dinosaurs can be fish. I know my science and prehistoric cartoons! I was just being descriptive!

• Superman proves he's Superman by finding a way out of the fish without punching his way out of its stomach. That's Superman! He even takes into account the life of a big dumb prehistoric fish when nobody would have blamed him for turning it into sashimi. That's how he should react to every situation. Take a moment, weigh his options, and figure out a peaceful solution. Unless, of course, the fish had been full of Kryptonite. That's the only time Superman should panic! I mean, it doesn't have to be a fish full of Kryptonite to be the only time Superman should panic. It just has to be a situation that involves Kryptonite.

• Along with battleships, tanks, and Japanese fighter jets, Superman and Superboy discover some dinosaur birds! They're probably Pterosomething-or-others. I probably could have named dozens of dinosaurs when I was eight years old. Now that I'm 45, all the dinosaurs I could name have probably been tossed in the trash heap of dinosaur history.

Krypto is eaten for the second time this series! And Jon's second pet to be snatched by a big bird!

• Jon makes mention of Krypto's penchant for getting eaten. Jon doesn't seem to realize that this situation was a lot like the situation where he killed Goldie! Why doesn't anybody remember Goldie?!

• Besides dinosaurs and weapons of war, Superman and his son find a bunch of corpses of The Losers scattered about the island. They also find a message on a cave wall written to Flag warning him of something--a spirit--even larger than the dinosaurs on the island. So I guess Superman will be dealing with that next issue.

The Ranking!
0! Like most stories that take place on Dinosaur Island, it was rather tepid. It's almost as if the idea of dinosaurs is supposed to be enough to keep a reader interested. "Holy shit! Dinosaurs?! In modern times?! CRAZY!" Instead it's more like, "I didn't even give a shit about Jurassic Park."

Oh, and just so everybody knows the score, Pet Murderers Peter and Patrick make sure that everybody knows Pooch, The Loser's dog, fucking ate it too!

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