Sunday, October 30, 2016

Scooby Apocalypse #6

I wish the reflection in the glasses was totally different. And adult.

The Review!
This issue tells Velma's secret origin. The Four responsible for everybody in the world turning into monsters are her brothers. And she's a huge nerd with anger issues. She also has Daddy Issues but I'm so bored of Daddy Issues in DC Comics books that I'll never mention it again. One thing that I'm disappointed to find out is that she doesn't sit around her room in her underwear when she's alone. She's always wearing the same skirt and sweater!

Velma's main character trait is being an introvert through an extrovert's eyes. So she spends a lot of time alone because she doesn't understand other people and doesn't really care to try. But since Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis are probably extroverts, they decide that, deep down, Velma is in pain and hates being alone. Oh, fuck off! Let an introvert be a Goddamned introvert already!

Anyway, Velma is still lonely and upset and thinks that nobody likes her. Mostly because she pushes them away. I would push them away too! Most people are fucking idiots who say the most boring, mundane, obvious things! I'd rather sit in the dark and talk to somebody interesting: myself!

This issue contains a Scrappy Doo back-up story. Ugh. Fuckin' Scrappy Doo? Seriously? I think there was a drinking game rule about this somewhere. I think when there's a Scrappy Doo back-up story, everybody has to drink until they fuck somebody. Have fun!

The back-up story explains why Scrappy Doo can speak better than Scooby Doo and why he walks on two feet. He also says "Lemme at 'im!" for the first time. I think that was also a rule in the drinking game. That one means you have to do a shot of tequila up your asshole. Enjoy!

The Rankings!
1. The Sheriff of Babylon (*)
2. New Super-man (*)
3. Deathstork (*)
4. Wonder Woman (*)
5. Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps (*)
6. Suicide Squad (*)
7. Scooby Apocalypse (*)
8. The Flash (*)
9. Earth 2: Society (*)

I'm already questioning why I placed Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps over Suicide Squad! This is the problem with rankings: they're never correct! Even when you do them yourself!

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