Thursday, October 13, 2016

Harley Quinn #5

Doctor Martens! Doctor Martens! Doctor Martens boots!

The Review!
I get the feeling a lot of people are buying Harley Quinn comic books but aren't actually reading them. What's the point? Harley gets into a misadventure where she's able to say "Holee Nounarolee" a few times, gets naked once or twice, engages in acts of extreme violence, and overuses sexual euphemisms! But if you consider yourself a huge Harley fan and want others to consider you the same, you have to buy her comic book! Just like I'm proud to have every issue featuring Ambush Bug (not really), Harley fans need to be able to remind everybody how many Harley Quinn comic books they have. They're a big fan, after all! Probably the biggest!

You know, I used to be a fan of Harley Quinn myself. And then I was inundated with all of these stories of her zany adventures outside of Gotham and I said to myself, "You're a stupid ugly loser!" I rarely say anything else to myself these days. Sometimes I'll say, "Go get a burrito, dum-dum." What I'm trying to say is that my self-esteem isn't the greatest and I'm fucking sick of Harley Quinn and her zany cast of characters in her crazy New York home.

In this issue, Harley decides to start a punk band to go undercover to catch a punk band full of criminals. That's the whole story. She makes a decision. I could say she gets a hair cut and finds members of the band and notices the punk band commit a crime which is how she gets on the case...but I actually said all of that when I said she makes a decision. Maybe it's the little details that people enjoy. Like when Harley takes a crap? Or when her towel falls off and she stands naked in front of her band? Or when Dead Tool cuts the strings on a woman's blouse so he can see her tits just before he kills her?

The Ranking!
-2! That's -1 for being a relatively boring comic book and -1 in additional lowered rankings because of my personal bias. I think that's fair since it was Harley that made me hate Harley.

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