Friday, October 14, 2016

Green Lanterns #8

I want to punch these children in the face.

The Ranking!
-1! Two major problems in this story ruined it for me completely! First, Jess and Si seem to be able to communicate with each other through the Narration Boxes. That's fucking annoying. Plus they're talking directly to the reader through the Narration Boxes which is double fucking annoying. That's still part of the first problem though. The second problem is that the jerk kids riding their bikes around on Halloween who laugh at the rookie Green Lanterns don't throw their rotten eggs at Si and Jess. What the hell?! Instead they change their opinion on them! They're cheering for them at the end of the comic book! They're calling them badass just because they captured two guys who, for all the kids knew, were just idiots in Dominator costumes. What kind of troublemaker misses a chance to wing a rotten egg at a Green Lantern?! Those kids were the worst.

No wait! I've changed my mind! Not about the kids but about how many problems this story had! Another problem was the way it ended. On the final page, it's revealed that a guy with an AK-47 is driving to Dearborn, Michigan, to get his hands on the Phantom Ring. Who is this guy? How does he know about the Phantom Ring? I suspect those two questions are supposed to encourage the reader to pick up the next issue. But you know what would really encourage me to pick up the next issue if I were a casual reader? Reveal the identity of the person coming after the ring! I have to assume that the person's identity is boring and lame or else why wouldn't they reveal it? Just think how exciting it would be to know Deathstork were coming after the ring? Or Stillbirth?! Remember Stillbirth?! No wait! His name was Deadborn! Holy shit? Wouldn't that be great if Deadborn were coming for the ring?!

Dammit! Now I'm excited about the next issue even though Sam Humphries did the thing I hate most where a writer chooses to hide a fact to get people interested when writers really should be revealing facts to keep people interested! But then, I'm just going to be disappointed because why would any writer bring back Deadborn? I bet comic books written by Rob Liefeld aren't even allowed to be discussed in DC's offices.

Please, please, please be Deadborn! The guy in this comic book has the same gun that Deadborn had! I mean, I know it's a common assault rifle to use but it's possible, right?!

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