Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Lumberjanes Love Gotham Academy #3

I'm a grown-up, so I'm going to stop using the term "fingerbang" as of right now. Wait. FINGERBANG! Okay. Now!

The Review!
If you like stupid upbeat books about friendship and doing the right thing and respecting everybody for their stupid choices, this might be the boring book for you! I bet if this book were a Middle School Student, it would get picked on by Red Hood and the Outlaws! It would probably sit shyly in the library during lunch while the popular kids, Young Avengers and Batman, ruled the cafeteria, choosing which other cool kids could sit at their lunch table. This book would probably get so many swirlies and wedgies that it would rival my record! I mean the record I set by giving other kids swirlies and wedgies! My hair and shirt were wet in my school photos because it was raining on the day they took photos! Actually, it was raining every day they took school photos!

Man, I'm so sick of cute and adorable and nice being the cool things! I wish somebody would bring back canning! That's where you would get thr...I mean, that's where you would find some dumb stupid weak kid (who was probably fat) to throw in a garbage can or a dumpster. In the 70s, it was practically a mandatory school activity! Teachers frowned on kids who didn't participate in the systematic oppression of the younger and smaller kids in the lower grades! If a kid from the 70s were to read this garbage about friendship, they would probably laugh uproariously at it! And maybe a few tears would fall down their faces and they might think later, "Why can't life be more like that?!", as they read that book on knots they checked out of the library. Man, those books were so confusing! I bet less kids hung themselves in the days before YouTube when they couldn't watch a clear video walkthrough on how to make a noose.

The Ranking!
Friendship! Friendship! If you have friends and like friendship, you'll probably pop a friendship boner over this book about friendship! If you don't enjoy friendship or all of your friends are dumb jerks (like Doom Bunny!) then you probably won't like this book. In fact, it might make you angry seeing so many compassionate, sweet, adorable youngsters getting along in totally non-sexual ways. Pee-yuke!

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