Friday, October 31, 2014

Supergirl #35

Red Hood not written by Scott Lobdell? I can't wait to like him!

Why does Red Hood wear a leather jacket over his costume? Is it that cold in Metropolis? Is he in Antarctica visiting the Fortress of Solitude at its alternate location? Maybe it's not even a leather jacket. Is it made from human flesh? Oh, is human flesh leather? I bet psychos that love to wear other people's skin scare the hell out of their victims before slaughtering them so that the victim pisses themselves. Gets the tanning process started early.

Although I don't know how Jason Todd is going to skin Supergirl unless he has kryptonite infused blades. If he could manage to skin her, her skin would be a sexy bulletproof outfit though.

Hopefully, since this is a Doomed Aftermath issue and last issue was a Doomed issue but had nothing to do with Doomed because it was instead introducing that fuckpuke Michael...hopefully Jason Todd will murder Michael! How dare that asshole kiss my Kara!

Even Twat Lobo doesn't kill dogs! That Jason Todd is a beast! Except I'm sure by "take him out of the equation," he just means locked him in the laundry room.

Michael is wearing a Red Hood t-shirt, so I guess his budding relationship with Supergirl is over now that his real hero has arrived. Nice job, Red Hood! Tear these two apart! Michael is obviously no good for her! Remember how he kissed her without first getting written permission? The nerve of that asshole. He's practically a sex criminal!


Well, you are generally written by Scott Lobdell. So that puts you pretty high up on the creep meter.

Wait, wait! There's a nice bit in the next panel!

Who are on the opposite ends of the spectrum when Batman represents the center? Superman on the most powerful extreme and Aquaman on the least powerful extreme? Oh hey! Batman is normal!

Supergirl grabs Red Hood and flies through a window with him. The hypocrite from Gotham then asks her if she knows how much windows cost. As if Jason Todd isn't intimately familiar with the prices of repairing windows and skylights. Batman's triage plans most likely considers which crimes are happening at the bottom of the most expensive skylights. Then Wayne Enterprises Windows and Skylight Restoration Services rakes in the cash the next day!

Red Hood and Supergirl eventually get to the part of a Heroes Clash in Their First Encounter part of the encounter where they stop seeing each other as enemies and begin to work together. It only takes a couple of pages and the pages had entertaining dialogue, so my head didn't explode from anger at the use of the trope. But then, Tony Bedard has been one of those writers that is able to lift up a mediocre plot (not that I'm saying this one is mediocre! Yet!) by his dialogue. I really enjoyed his run on Blue Beetle and most of that was due to his characterization of whatever that kid's name was. I have mentioned how I suck with names right? At least I didn't make up a racist name for him like Miguel Miguela!

Anyway, Red Hood is in town because alien weapon runners have appeared in New York! He thinks they may be the same ones that Starfire and Superman defeated in a story that really went nowhere but at least allowed for Superman and Starfire to beat up on each other for an incessant number of pages.

Yeah! That Michael is a boring jerko dog molester! I really like this Jason Todd fellow! But it won't last since the next comic book on my stack is Red Hood and the Outlaws by Scott Lobdell.

Supergirl notices Jason Todd is inordinately strong and that he has some green goo running through his bloodstream. Is he on the Mira Kiru?! More likely it's just whatever gross bacterial infection he picked up from bathing in the Ultimate Lazarus Pit in Assassin City.

Red Hood uses some detective techniques that I never saw Fred or Velma use to discover the location where the alien weapons are being kept. Since DC has the rights to Scooby Doo, I think Marvel should make their own Scooby Doo comic book but with Marvel characters. Fred should be The Punisher. Daphne could be Black Widow. Velma could be Aunt May. Shaggy could be Deadpool. And Scooby Doo could be Pizza Dog. Or that dog with the tuning fork on his head. Or Deadpool's penis.

So the next part of the Super Hero Team-up continues when Jason Todd and Supergirl begin battling the alien demon people selling the weapons to Earth gangs.

I thought the same thing when my house was invaded by wasps. Although I couldn't figure out what I had done to enrage them.

Jason Todd and Supergirl defeat the alien threat and then Jason Todd pulls a Batman when Supergirl questions him on his inhuman strength. And by "pulling a Batman," I don't mean he told the woman he loved his secret identity so that she would wind up dead. I meant he slipped away undetected.

NO! Not "Good for you, Supergirl." Shoot him in the head! Shoot him in the fucking head right this instant, Jason Todd!

Supergirl #35 Rating: -500 Rankings. Tony Bedard is the worst Supergirl writer to ever have been conceived by sloppy drunk parents that should have known more about birth control! Here's what Tony Bedard needs to do if he wants better reviews. First, Michael needs to die in a thresher accident. Second, he needs to write into his script some art direction so these artists draw at least one clear picture of Supergirl's bum!

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