Welcome to the 90s, The Others!
"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Okay, maybe my theory was wrong. But at least I took the time to try one experiment before declaring if it was or wasn't valid. Maybe I just inserted him into the joke poorly. Let me try another one.
Aquaman walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We've got a drink named after you?" Aquaman perks up, excited to finally be recognized, and asks, "You've got a drink called a Big Dumb Stupid Loser Face?"
That joke needs some workshopping but I think it's close!
This issue begins with Aquaman and Mera looking dopey.
They look dopier in the full body shot that left off their feet. But I didn't want to waste the storage space on a full page scan.
Let's take a quick statistical look at this comic book after three pages, shall we?
Number of Panels: Two.
Number of Seagulls: About thirty-seven.
Idiots That Don't Know Their Roman Numerals: One (at least).
Idiots That Don't Know Their Alphabet: One (at least).
Ya'wara's Butt Cheeks: Zero.
Bored Readers: One that I know of. Actual number probably equal to the number of issues this comic book sold.
iSpy's son, Aaron, is the idiot that doesn't know his alphabet or his Roman Numerals. He thinks that this Vostok, being a clone of Vostok-X, should be called either "Vostok-II" or "Vostok-Z". He's wrong on both counts!
Anyway, who is Vostok-X?! I hope this doesn't turn into a five part story to find out because I don't really care! He's a Russian guy with a magic helmet that lives on the moon. So what if there are two of them? Or were two of them. Just pretend this guy is the real one and get on with telling another story in which he dies. Aquaman decides a replacement copy of an old friend is just about as good as having the old friend back and that's good enough for The Others.
Cool kids? What cool kids? Where?
Four more pages in and the Seagull Count has increased by about 34 more!
Ya'wara and Sayeh head to Tehran where the number one concern is that Ya'wara not go outside because she's practically naked and she'll inadvertently give all the Iranian men boners and then they'll have to stone her for being a vile temptress. Unless the main concern with her roaming the streets is that she's wearing two big daggers on her hips.
A lot of other boring stuff happens and there are more seagulls. And then something less boring happens! Unless it's more boring? I can't tell. Anyway, it's different.
Dan Jurgens was only allowed access to the most boring and inconsequential villains of the DC Universe.
Aquaman and the Others #6 Rating: -2 Ranking. This book is so fucking boring I might actually stop reading one of DC's New 52 soon.