Sunday, October 12, 2014

Justice League 3000 #10

Oh my God! I am so in love with Locus! If love means wanting to slap pee pees. If it means anything else, then I should probably invest in a dictionary.

I've constantly pointed out how my blog is a dinosaur and it probably shouldn't even be on Tumblr since it has so much writing and so very few pictures and pithy quotes. But I must defend what I am doing at all costs! But I can't do it myself because that's just more of my own blathering on top of some of my other blathering. So instead, I've done something I'm not prone to do: research! Therefore, in my defense, I have found a quote that supports the way most people use Tumblr over the way I have been using it!

"One must also remember that of itself the multitude is mentally inert, that it remains attached to its old habits and that it is not naturally prone to read something which does not conform with its own pre-established beliefs when such writing does not contain what the multitude hopes to find there. Therefore, some piece of writing which has a particular tendency is for the most part read only by those who are in sympathy with it. Only a leaflet or a placard, on account of its brevity, can hope to arouse a momentary interest in those whose opinions differ from it. The picture, in all its forms, including the film, has better prospects. Here there is less need of elaborating the appeal to the intelligence. It is sufficient if one be careful to have quite short texts, because many people are more ready to accept a pictorial presentation than to read a long written description. In a much shorter time, at one stroke I might say, people will understand a pictorial presentation of something which it would take them a long and laborious effort of reading to understand."

See? This quote supports the way Tumblr is generally used and shows that I'm doing it all wrong! Which is my defense that I'm doing everything right because this quote is from Adolf Hitler! I think disagreeing with Hitler is all the evidence I need that writing long-winded, rambling texts that don't conform to the beliefs of the masses is the best way to blog!

Unless this is one of those times I should agree with Hitler? Are there ever any of those times ever? Maybe I should condense all of my commentaries to 140 characters and just continue this on Twitter! Or I could learn to do some other impossible things, like fly or breathe underwater! Right?!

Previously in Justice League 3000, The JL3k Gang had escaped the clutches of The Fatal Five. Ariel Masters has taken them to Camelot Nine, a renaissance fair world plagued by Etrigan the Demon (yay! That's the best kind of plague!). But King Arthur doesn't think they should be allowed to stay (boo!).

Here's one of those pictorial presentations that Hitler loved so much.

Instead of helping King Arthur battle Etrigan the Demon and his forces like they should if they want to sell more comic books, the JL3k Gang begin plans setting a trap for the Fatal Five's arrival. Judging by the cover, the trap is not going to work very well.

I hope we get to see Etrigan 3000 before this is over!

Over on Cadmusworld, the Fatal Five ar...when did Cadmus become the big overarching evil organization in the DC Universe? That must be something I missed out on in the 2000s when I wasn't reading anything but Fables and Walking Dead. Was Maxwell Lord running Cadmus when he shot Blue Beetle in the face? I suppose he was if he was involved in all of the Brother Eye and OMAC shenanigans that somebody high up at DC (Dan Didio?) must have decided were the best bad guys ever invented because they just won't go away. Even after everything has been rebooted, Cadmus gets to remain the ultimate evil organization. I guess DC did try to make the Daemonites the big mystery bad guys of the New 52 but that didn't take very well. I'm sure they'll have a part to play in Futures End at some point though.

The JL3k Gang set the trap in some old ruins on Camelot Nine.

What could it be?! What is the secret of the super powerful ruins?! Is it a Monitor Space Station?!

Over on Cadmusworld, The Fatal Five forget that being evil means your arrogance and pride will lead to disaster. So Terry says, "Fuck caution in the ass and fling our semen in the wind! Let's go kill those meddling kids!" Then they step into the teleport and into the best page ever in this comic book.

Etrigan wears stupid shoes.

Too bad that's the only page with Etrigan 3000. He doesn't get to defeat the Fatal Five. He doesn't even get to bite off a nice, attractive hunk of one of them. The Fatal Five simply emerge, in a few panels, beside the JL3k Gang and begin the fight. So while it was a nice moment to get to see Etrigan 3000, it really didn't do much for the plot.

The fight between The Fatal Five and the JL3k Gang lasts much longer than the single panel of Locus wishing them out of existence that it should last. I'm starting to think Locus might not have allocated many stat points to her intelligence. But that's okay! She doesn't need high smarts when her adorably sexy cuteness is off the charts. I've never claimed to be deep or profound!

The entire team takes out Kali while The Fatal Four Others stand around clearing their heads from the exploding transversal and from whatever it is Etrigan and his demons did to them (I hate to be the one to bring this up but it was probably rape after evisceration. They are demons, after all. And what kind of place would Hell be if nobody were allowed to mention rape? I bet Hell is just rape jokes, 24/7. Oh, and rape! And evisceration!). After that, Batman knocks out The Convert because The Convert is an idiot that forgot that thing I mentioned about arrogance and also that other thing I failed to mention which was overconfidence.

Green Lantern defeats Locus because he's a jerk and she's, well...she's a bit stupid. I suppose when you have somebody with the power to change reality, they have to be a lot dumb or they'd never be defeated.

Oh, and then Wonder Woman and Superman really defeat Kali because I don't know how to read comic books.

After that, the only two members of The Fatal Five left are the useless ones, Terry and Coeval. Okay, maybe Coeval isn't entirely useless. But he's definitely not going to perform on a backwater planet like Camelot Nine that has no technology. Except maybe the Monitor Satellite Ruins they're fighting on.

More Etrigan! Because Giffen and DeMatteis are creatures of the Preboot Universe. And also maybe a little bit of the Pre-Crisis era too!

Justice League 3000 #10 Rating: +1 Ranking simply because Etrigan appeared on panel. I'm the easiest date ever.

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