Why is Batman standing in Kalibak's toilet?
By the way, why attack the scientist? If this technology exists, people are going to use it however they can. Attack the asshole parents that are going to insist on a straight son with no physical handicaps with blond hair and blue eyes and make sure he's over six feet tall and can you program him to love me and want to be the high school quarterback?! Parents try to force their kids to be what they want them to be after they're born; just imagine how many are going to want to pre-program their children to be exact duplicates of themselves? Leave the scientist alone! He's trying to do good shit! And even if he eventually decides to take money from some control freak parents to produce a baby to their exact specifications, so what? This is America, dammit! And last I checked, we're a capitalist country! So don't tell people that they can't make custom babies just because it weirds you out a little bit!
While I'm pissed off at 60 Minutes because it pretends to be above bullshit journalism but it really only deals in feel good human interest stories, how about we all stop accusing science of "playing God." God isn't a thing! Science is science! And science can do whatever scientists can get it to do and guess what? They're never playing God! They're playing scientist! How come nobody ever accuses parents of playing God? How dare you create life! That's God's job, you arrogant bastards!
Why doesn't somebody (a gathering of religious leaders from various religions, perhaps?) just come up with a list once and for all of things science should never be allowed to do because it would be "playing God." I think performing CPR is too much like what Jesus did for that Lazarus guy, so that should be out. Any resuscitation of any kind should be outlawed as "playing God." Once somebody dies, they're gone! Stop resurrecting people, doctors and scientists and part-time lifeguards! I think breeding dogs is too close to "playing God" as well. Stop with the creating new breeds of dogs, you bastards! You're going to bring God's wrath down on our heads! If he had wanted their to be Labradoodles, they would have been on the ark with Noah. Any kind of orgasm should be right out! No way in hell mankind should have the power to make people feel this good! That has to be a godly power.
There are probably a lot more (like mixing peanut butter with chocolate) but I'll be here all day thinking up things we should stop doing. There's just so many of them!
Um, anyway, Batman is currently on Apokolips looking for his dead, gay son. Whoops. Sorry. Lines from Heathers just constantly leak out of my head. Nothing I can do about it.
The lowlies of Apokolips have one, brief moment of joy as Batman murders their parademon captors.
Even if Damian hadn't been killed, Alfred always knew this would eventually be his job.
I like to believe that "Batmam" is not a typo. So cheeky, Batgirl!
I hope I got the teen speak down! I've been taking an online course called "Scott Lobdell Teaches Older Than Fuck People How To Write Realistic Teenagers." I hope I got my money's worth!
But Alfred won't let the kids leave until they've talked to Batwoman to make sure she's protecting the city and not too busy with her lesbian stuff.
Why isn't Tomasi writing all of the Bat Books?!
I only scanned this picture because Alfred and Batcow have not been in enough comics since they were introduced.
Maybe next time, feel bad before frying his brains. And then approach him for his help in a friendly manner with lots and lots of hot dogs and root beer.
Currently on Apokolips, Batman has finally battled his way to confront Godfrey.
Hey! I said "pissant" earlier too!
During the confrontation with Godfrey, Batman makes it clear that he hasn't been murdering Godfrey's Justifiers. But he still might have been killing the parademons, right? Didn't the Justice League determine it was okay to kill them? Bah, I suppose even if Batman just incapacitated them, Red Hood is right on his heels probably putting bullets in everything's brains.
When Cyborg and Titus arrive just after the Bat Kids, Cyborg says, "Fuck you, dicks. Now let's go save Batman!" And Batgirl is all, "It was Red Hood's idea! He's a huge racist!"
And then Kalibak fires the newly armed Robin Death Beam, blowing up some planet full of people that have never mattered. Unless Grant Morrison decides to write a story from the doomed planet people's point of view that is full of weirdness and angst and more weirdness and some stuff that seems to make sense but probably doesn't but god forbid anybody admits to not understanding the story and looking like a right arsehole.
Batman and Robin #35 Rating: +1 Ranking! Except Batman and Robin is already my favorite comic book. Except it's not my favorite comic book! It just somehow wound up in the #1 spot! I think my favorite comic book is Swamp Thing. Unless it's Red Lanterns. No wait! It's probably...um, no, that's about it. My real favorites were all cancelled ages ago. I MISS YOU ETRIGAN!