Earth 2: Society #4

Yay! A comic book issue about a pacifist!

This episode of Lost focuses on Val-zod. Since Kara is currently upset with him, my guess is the flashbacks will be heavy on the infidelity.

"Kara's vagina. Not Kara's vagina. What's the big deal?!"

What is Daniel H. Wilson's hard-on for this whole creation and destruction are two sides of the same stupid philosophy?! Didn't the Terry Sloan issue focus on this shit too? Goddammit. Am I being tricked into reading one of those stories where the story is a defense for itself?! Is Daniel H. Wilson not confident enough to just tear apart the history of Earth 2 so he has to explain to the reader how he couldn't help destroying that history in his effort to create something new and kind of boring? Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this but after Snyder wasted a few issues of Batman trying to convince his readers to trust the whole Commissioner Batman thing, and the way Marguerite Bennett spent half of the Lobo Villains Issue telling the reader to suck her nuts because Twat Lobo is what they're getting and they're going to fucking like it, I can't help but feel I'm in for more of the same. It's also possible my cynicism is currently set to "Way Too Fucking Sensitive" and this is just Wilson's way of comparing Sloan and Val-Zod. See, Sloan is the destroyer who thinks he's creating and Val-Zod is creating with the realization that he's coming dangerously close to simply destroying. Or something. I just hope the adultery happens soon.

Val-Zod has created a city called Crossroads where misfits and factory defect toys live. The Flash has come for a visit because he probably realizes his desire to bone his mom means he should live far away from Midwest City. Batdick has also stopped by but he's just here to arrest Val-Zod for killing Terry Sloan. I don't think that was really Val-zod's fault since Val-zod is a pacifist. Or at least he was. I think that whole pacifist thing was forgotten three issues into Val-zod's existence. Now he's just black Superman who does all the same stupid shit that white Superman does. I had such high hopes for a Superman who solved problems with his brains and occasionally his penis.

Wow. Batdick has grown up to become a real cop! *tears of joy*

A brand new Earth 2 in a brand new galaxy and nothing fucking changes. Some guy is murdered and the black guy gets blamed. Good job, Grayson! You're an embarrassment to your Earth-You counterpart!

The Flash keeps Batman from beating on Val-Zod long enough for Val-Zod to believe Batdick actually deserves to have things explained to his violent ass. I guess that helps the readers so I don't mind. Explicate away, Superman! Don't be stingy on the graphic details of the probably violent sex with your mistress!

Superman's flashback is about how he and Kara fell in love and how even when the two of them are drawn really small, Jimenez has to highlight the gap between Kara's legs. Hey, comic book artists. Women's thighs actually do fucking touch. It's a condition known as "not starving."

Superman also repeats the thing about creating and destroying being two ingredients in the recipe of shitty philosophy.

The story also has an antagonist!

Oh! Anarky is female! Do I smell infidelity?!

I just realized you can't spell pacifist without "ass" and "fist". That probably means something sexy, right? Or just painful?

Sloan blasts the area where Anarky was with a laser from space and knocks out a bunch of civilians while missing Anarky. The Sandmen arrive to maintain order and Superman punches one of them in the face. So, yeah, I guess I should just give up on the whole pacifism thing. It was a nice thought to have a Superman who refused to resort to violence because he couldn't be killed by anything attacking him anyway, so why does he have to lower himself to their level? Instead, Val-Zod is just another Superman with violent outbursts who loses his powers occasionally due to the red sun in binary orbit with a yellow sun at the center of their new solar system. I guess destroying to create doesn't really specify anything about innovation and imagination.

Power Girl and Superman use one of the Sandmen's teleporters to transport themselves to Sloan's ship, the Overwatch-One. Could he come up with a more fascist name than that? Maybe the Hitler/Sauron-Dreamcrusher-Five?

And then Superman gets to the part of the story where Power Girl finds out he lied to her about something that could only hurt her if she found out about it and so now she hates him forever for lying. I've said how idiotic this is before and I'll keep saying it because writers keep writing it but this whole false drama due to somebody keeping something hidden from somebody else is the laziest shit a writer can pull. Unless, of course, it's actually accurate to the way the majority of people act in their own personal relationships. Can that be true? Are most people this petty? Are most people constantly looking for any crack or flaw or sign of weakness in a person they love so that they can lord it over them and feel self-righteous in their anger and indignation?! Is our world actually just full of children who look like adults? Fuck me. No wonder I hate leaving my house.

Basically Superman's explanation to Batdick about why he's innocent of killing Terry Sloan just sounds like more reasons why he probably killed Terry Sloan. The idiot fell for the trap! Never fucking talk to the police, no matter how innocent you know you are! They'll only hear the bits of what you tell them that confirm their initial beliefs! See, police are just as dumb as everybody else. And most people are really fucking dumb. Nearly all of them. Probably 98% of you reading this are just complete morons. It's just a simple fact!

Hey Batdick! Do you know where your kid is? Ha ha!

It's nearly the last page when I realize the city isn't called Crossroads at all. It's called Nexus. Way to make that fucking clear at the beginning, Wilson!

The issue ends with Batdick getting a message from Mister Terrific about how the Hitler/Sauron-Dreamcrusher-Five has been hacked and is plummeting into New Earth 2's atmosphere and headed straight for Neotropolis! I don't know why Mister Terrific called Batdick. What is he going to do? Throw a Dickarang at it?

Earth 2: Society #4 Rating: +1 Ranking. I'm not super excited about raising this comic book up the rankings but this issue, at the very least, held my interest much more than the others. So what if I can't stand Power Girl's bullshit motivation for suddenly hating Superman? It's not like that same motivation has ever been able to stop me watching three seasons of Arrow! Anyway, I'm sure Sloan has faked his death and is working with Anarky because isn't that the way governments truly control their people? By infiltrating rebellious and dissenting organizations and steering them toward acts which will cause the public to clamor for more governmental controls?! So that's kind of interesting. Although it's still only the type of interesting that's made up in my head and not the kind of interesting that Daniel H. Wilson has put into this comic. I'm just trusting that he'll do the right thing and write the story how I would write it. That means a lot more sex and drugs and kittens riding raccoons riding goats.