We Are Robin #3

Commissioner Batman had better say "You kids get off my lawn!" at least once.

This issue begins with the Robin with the big thighs digging through the refrigerator when she should be helping the other Robins by searching YouTube for videos about disarming bombs. Her nickname is Shug because she's either a patron at a southern restaurant or she loves to stuff sugar into her face. We get it, society! Fat people eat things! You know who else eats things? Skinny people! So why is it always the fat person shoving unhealthy food in their face? Or overly healthy food which is the tack We Are Robin takes. Also, Shug isn't fat. So maybe she has diabetes and she's trying to control her diet so she doesn't send her sugar levels out of whack. That would be a good reason for the nickname "Shug" as well! Plus it would make sense that she's staying home and out of the adrenaline pumping action since that might throw her levels out of whack too. Unless it doesn't. But I hope it does because I'm trying to distance myself from the assumption that Lee Bermejo was falling back on standard fat character tropes. Shug is probably diabetic instead of fat. I hope it's still okay to make fun of diabetics or I might get into trouble later.

Right now, Shug is playing the Oracle of the We Are Robin kids. It might be because she's diabetic or it might be because she has stricter parents than the others or it might just be that they rotate the help desk job every night. Whatever the reason, she needs to learn how to disarm a bomb in the next twenty minutes or Gotham will lose another building. That doesn't really seem like that big of a deal since Gotham recently lost most of their buildings in Batman Eternal and then lost lots more in Endgame.

Shug's texts come in as "The Nest" so she's definitely the Oracle. Unless they don't since some texts come in as Shug-R. So many names! The rest of the Robins use each other's names a lot so that the readers can slowly identify them all. I won't be learning their names any time soon. Not because I'm stubborn but because my brain just doesn't work that way. I just spent twenty seconds trying to come up with Duke's name and he's the only one I can identify.

Meanwhile above ground, a riot breaks out because disarming bombs wasn't enough pressure for these kids. Commissioner Batman had better get here soon!

Holy crap. So many Robins to keep track of!

So far Shug is my favorite because she had two Chinese food leftover containers in the fridge that I'm just going to assume had Indian food in them because now I want Indian food. Plus she's had the most characterization so far other than Duke. She chews sugarless gum which I don't do. She wears glasses which I don't do. She sits at home on her computer every night which I totally do. I think the other Robins will be too active and engage in too many risky behaviors for me to be comfortable with them as my favorite Robin. Shug really seems like the Robin for me.

Last issue made it seem like Alfred was recruiting all of these kids. My guess is that he's working with his daughter Julia as well. She's also on the Commissioner Batman program, so it would make sense for her to be bridging the worlds of legal and illegal criminal subdual techniques. I don't think Bruce Wayne is involved at all since he's running around with hearts in his eyes.

Hmm. I don't think diabetes is the issue. Now I want Mac 'n' Cheese!

One bomb is disarmed and loads and loads of Robins join in to quell the riot. Unless adding that many more people to the riot just makes a bigger riot? That's probably just semantics plaguing me. I'm pretty sure, in this case, it's a good thing that the Robins are effectively doubling the size of the riot. Commissioner Batman, on the other hand, might come down on the semantics side of things.

I guess this is not very different when regular Batman chastises his Robins.

A train pulls up with a big "R" painted on the front and Robin stuff all over it. Orders from The Nest (which must be the mystery person and not Shug-R at all) tell the Robins to hop the train and leave the final bomb. The kids figure The Nest knows what it's talking about so they comply. Also it's probably nice to know you're not going to be blown up by a bomb in a few seconds. But Robin Troy stays behind to finish disarming the bomb!

Goddammit! His was a name I could remember!

The epilogue confirms that Alfred is The Nest and that he has a hook for a hand. I guess after all those years raising children to put them in harm's way, he's simply gone over the edge and is now gathering as many to him as he can! Alfred needs to be stopped!

We Are Robin #3 Rating: No change. I get the point of this comic book! Alfred really has gone nuts and just can't stop recruiting kids to put them in harm's way. Is this the only way he knows how to make a Batman? And why does he need a Batman so badly?! Maybe he's just envious of the kids at the rec center and their relationship with Bruce Wayne so he's punishing them with this whole We Are Robin scam. Shouldn't Alfred just be truly happy that Bruce is getting a second chance at happiness and retire himself? Maybe Alfred knows Bruce will eventually return to Batman and this is Alfred's way of showing Bruce that the city can always be safe if you teach the youth of the city to care and to fight back. That way Bruce can trash that creepy Batman Duplication Device in the Bat-cave. Anyway, I suppose Alfred doesn't feel hugely responsible for Troy's death since he did tell the kids to just get the hell out of the building. He's trying to build their confidence and skill, not get them killed. Troy's death is on himself! At least according to "Batman's Big Book of Reasons Why I Can Honestly Say I Haven't Killed Anybody Because There Are Always Extenuating Circumstances To Deaths Surrounding My Actions."