Saturday, April 15, 2017

Deathstork #16

I am not Shooping this cover so just pretend it reads "Deathstork".

The Review!
Deathstork has gone blind so now his name is Twilight and he kills people with the help of his guide sidekick, Roscoe. Currently he's battling a guy named Deadline so if you had "Eventually somebody will come up with a stupider name than Deadpool" on your superhero pool at work, you still haven't won anything. Let's face it. Deadpool is a dumb name derived from Deathstork. At least Deadline makes it sound like "Oh! I've taken out a contract to kill a person so now that person's life is running on a deadline! And that deadline is my gun! KERPOW!" I guess Deadpool is called Deadpool because there was that Clint Eastwood film a few years earlier and it was probably on television when Rob Liefeld was thinking, "What should I give the name of my Marvel version of Deathstork?"

Although Deadline might beat out Deadpool for stupidest idea ever because Deadpool eventually found a niche in the superhero world that made him popular and Deadline has a weapon called an Infinity Rifle. It uses alien isotopes to create static disruptive shells around its targets. That sounds cool!

The new Power Girl has a fake boob window and it's making me angry. She also has an illusory underboob awning! That's making me less angry and more the other thing. You know, the emotion that powers the Violet Lanterns except more sexy.

Well, now she has a belly window!

See what kind of damage the Infinity Rifle does? Pretty awesome, right?! It could probably kill Superman. Why didn't Lex Luthor think up this weapon?

In the B-story line, Rose finds out that her Hmong family are all actors paid for by Slade. She finds out from Etienne, the woman Joseph is about to kill. I mean marry. He's already fucked her. Also I think he probably will kill her after marrying her when he finds out she's been fucking his father. That story doesn't have any blood in it yet so let's go back to the story where Deadline is about to get his hand cut off and then mauled by Roscoe.

Deadline has all sorts of special powers which he received from his encounter with an alien race. I bet it was just government agents in stupid costumes fucking with him. He also explains his moniker. If he doesn't kill a person by the guaranteed deadline, the kill is free. So why didn't he call himself Domino's?

Deadline's alien tech allows him to phase through solid objects. He likes to kill people by phasing a hand into their chest and going solid. Although that probably hurts his hand too so he usually just relies on the Infinity Rifle. As you saw, that makes a pretty good mess of even people with invulnerability.

Do you think Power Girl is actually dead? It would be interesting if DC allowed her to die in this series. It's not like she was being interesting in any other comic book, even the ones she was appearing in.

Darn it. She's still alive.

The Ranking!
No change! I wasn't paying particularly close attention to this issue. That'll happen, life being what it is.

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