Saturday, December 3, 2016

Detective Comics #945

I can't tell if this is going to be a Killer Croc issue or that face is just another member of the Victim Syndicate!

This issue begins with Batman trying to find out what the First Victim said to Spoiler. But Spoiler just points out that if Batman unmasks, nobody will be hurt by the Victim Syndicate. Oh, okay. Is that where we are? We're giving in to terrorist threats now? Because that always works so well! Batman is the answer to terrorist threats! Just like in the first episode of the first season of Black Mirror, nobody should be discussing giving in to the demands no matter what is being threatened! Like when a corporation threatens to move its business out of the country unless it gets a tax break, you can't give in or else it becomes a pattern of behavior that other corporations will exploit! I don't even have children and I understand how this shit works! If you give the stupid bastard a cookie because it won't eat dinner otherwise, it's always going to expect a fucking cookie! And if the kid is smart, the cookie demands will escalate!

Although now that I mentioned Black Mirror, I really wish the First Victim had demanded to see Batman fuck a pig.

Steph points out that the First Victim just wanted to make sure Spoiler was okay. Because they didn't really want to hurt her or anybody else for that matter. They're the good guys here! Anybody they hurt is because of Batman. It's because Batman won't do what they want. How dare Batman not view the world in the way that they view the world and take responsibility for being the terrible person they say he is! What a gross, disgusting, problematic jerko!

In other news, Steph has now been groomed by the Victim Syndicate and she's ready to join the movement! Probably.

Batman just drives around Gotham City in his Batmobile like he's going out on errands. I wonder what insurance company he uses? Does he even need insurance? I bet avoiding tickets from speed cameras, parking tickets, and damages from hit and run accidents are the main reason he has a secret identity. Why bother with insurance when nobody can find you?

Batman begins trying to figure out who The First Victim might be by going over all of the people hurt during his escapades. But so many people have been hurt, he can't remember them all! Unless he can't remember them because the Dionesium that cured his brain also cured his guilt over the victims who he couldn't save. But also, why would Batman want to unmask the First Victim? That seems hypocritical! If he won't unmask, shouldn't he let the First Victim's identity remain secret too?

All of the Batkids are about to have psych evaluations to make sure they're fit for the team. I imagine they only have to score higher than Batman scored on his psych evaluation, right? Do people get scores on these things or is it just a pass/fail kind of thing?

Not a lot of action taking place in this issue as the Bat-Team wait for the Victim Syndicate to attack again. While they're waiting around, everybody contemplates their psychological problems. Batman is guilty and feeling responsible for the collateral damage that takes place when he tries to stop villains from killing and hurting people. Spoiler avoids talking about Tim Drake's death. Clayface deals with his lack of morality caused by using his powers. And Batwoman is having the mother of all Daddy Issues. Kate is also super annoyed that Luke Fox doesn't seem to have any problems. But then she doesn't know about his sister who was fucked up by Ratcatcher. Unless it was something different caused by somebody else!

Meanwhile, The First Victim pays a visit to Thompkins Free Clinic. I hope Jean-Paul Valley gets killed! I've been waiting for that day for so long!

I'm so sick of Batman having to deal with teenagers who think they've got everything figured out!

I don't understand this whole thing about "everybody else's expense." When did Batman become the guy ruining everybody else's lives? If you don't want to work with him because he always lies and has an agenda (an terrible agenda to keep people as safe as possible!), maybe don't work with him! He's not thinking of himself when he takes in young people to try to focus their grief and anger at the world into something positive. If he were thinking of himself, he'd ditch them all. Who needs the headache?! He's not thinking of himself and feeling better by sacrificing his own possibility for a life of happiness just to feel better about himself! Although Spoiler's words might be hitting home a little bit since possibly the only reason Batman took in Tim Drake was to feel better. Because Tim was really the only stable kid who didn't actually need Batman's care and guidance. So why take him in? Probably because it made Batman feel good. So the one selfish act Batman has taken in the past decade or more resulted in Tim's death. That only proves that Batman needs to stop pursuing "feeling better" and get back to kicking the asses of assholes who want to make everybody feel worse.

The Review
No change. Even though technically this feels like an old school Detective Comics book, as I've been saying, it also has signs of bringing Batman closer to the 21st Century. I can feel James Tynion bringing the next generation's beliefs and ideals into the heart of this book. Some of it is super annoying because it's still just young people thinking they know the way of the world while really just being typical young people. But also, it just kind of goes about its business with fitting into a modern sensibility. I mean, sometimes it calls attention to itself like when the word "they" was typed in bold type when Dr. Thompkins references The First Victim, just so, you know, you realize she's using the correct pronoun for describing a person whose gender is unknown. But overall, I don't find myself rolling my eyes at anything other than the way teenagers act. Fucking Spoiler is really getting on my nerves! I don't care if she's mourning! She's making me like Jean-Paul Valley by comparison!

Here's a picture of me with my niece because I look like a fucking superhero here! This must have been taken with some kind of filter!

No comments:

Post a Comment