Maybe help the lady out, Flash?
I also stopped by the Doc Martin's store to see if they had any bright pink Doc Martins. They did! I asked an employee if they might possibly have any which would fit my feet and she said the largest size they make them in is a man's ten. I said, "Perfect! Bring them out!" As I opened the box, I knew they'd fit lengthwise but my feet were going to be too wide. I tried them on and still almost shelled out however many clams they'd cost (I never asked the price) but common sense told me the width would be a problem. So once again, I had to forgo bright pink Doc Martins because the world isn't ready for a world where shoes for men aren't completely boring and more boring. The employee sympathized with me and said, "I don't know why they don't just make them in all sizes." And I said, "Right on, sister!" Except I didn't say that part. I just said, "Thank you," and left.
Next I met the Non-Certified Spouse at Powell's where we each bought a book even though Powell's is the most expensive used book store in the history of used bookstores ever. People might think living in Portland is the bees knees because they have the biggest used bookstore ever and it's super famous and let's all jerk off over it, but they never consider the downside. Most of the books in Powell's aren't used. And even the used books are priced way higher than they should be. And because Powell's is so popular, smaller used bookstores find it harder to stay in business so there is a dearth of cutesie, affordable used bookstores with cats living in them here in Portland. Fuck you, Powell's! Although I still kind of love Powell's too. I think I'm in an abusive relationship with Powell's.
Finally we ate at the McMenamins under The Crystal Ballroom. I don't know what that one is called because I really wasn't paying attention. We prepared ourselves for a long wait punctuated by infrequent visits from an obnoxious server but were pleasantly surprised to get the one member of Mcmenamins' waitstaff who was friendly and timely. He did throw a few more thumbs ups at me than I was comfortable with. I was beginning to feel like I owed him a quick suck and tug by the end of the meal. Living in Portland, I guess I'm just not used to friendly service anymore!
And that's what happens on days that I actually venture out into the real world! I wind up ignoring Justice League Dark completely!
The issue begins with Swamp Thing, Frankenstein, Nightmare Nurse, and Andrew Bennett sailing across the seas of nothingness. I hope I don't have to read twenty-two pages of J.M. DeMatteis conversation between these characters. I mean, what else could possibly happen? They've sailed past the edge of everything and are now outside of all space and time!
Don't worry, guys! It's just the Zatanna tree!
In my day, DC Comics destroyed infinite worlds and we liked it! We didn't have any of this "internet" in which to find other like-minded people with which to commiserate. Although to be fair, DC Comics really kind of sucked before Crisis on Infinite Earths. So it's not a good analogy to The New 52 because DC actually had some good shit going on before obliterating it this time. But, like always, things change not for the better or for the worse. They just change. So The New 52 has some shitty stuff and some really fucking good stuff. And the good stuff keeps getting better. I've been wondering when DC was going to finally drop The New 52 from the covers. I think that, and Conviviality, and all the new books beginning in June, will bring back a bunch of readers. It'll be up to DC to keep up the quality and maintain the new readers after that.
I'm particularly looking forward to the revamp because I've been saying all along that DC needs to concentrate more on individual stories and less on continuity. It looks like they're going to try that for a bit.
Anyway, Zatanna has now made friends with a face-tree living in a psychedelic miasma.
Okay, maybe they didn't laugh. But they did have a long, boring discussion about whose little adventure was the worst and the pain of fantasy. And no matter how much I wished it, the credits refused to roll over any of it. Hopefully they'll get back into the House of Leaves and figure out what they're up against. And the World Tree decides to make it easy for them by creating the house right before their eyes.
Yggdrasil equals Zampanò's House of Leaves equals The House of Mystery. I'll buy that.
Zatanna manages to kill all of the Time Gremlins by expelling all the magical energy she's collected while living in her fantasy world. But she fails to seal the leaks in the Heart of Chronos. That might be a problem for the team next issue.
Justice League Dark #38 Rating: -1 Ranking. This story, "The Amber of the Moment," has had four parts so far. Two were interesting enough to entertain me and two were horrible enough for me to throw up in my mouth two or three times while reading them. And the Justice League Dark is still in the dark about what's going on. Is that where they get their name?
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