Grayson #7

I hope Grayson tells a Batman and Robin story this issue while getting out of the shower naked.

I have a new comic strip character that I don't want to draw so I'm going to put the first script here and wait for somebody else to draw it and then we'll become a team and make tons of money and score with lots of groupies. The comic strip is called "Optimist Man" and it's about a super hero named Optimist Man! Here's the first comic:

Panel 1: Four kids in jeep stuck on train tracks. Train coming. "HEY OPTIMIST MAN! HELP US!"
Panel 2: Optimist Man floating/flying by side of car saying, "You kids are gonna be just fine!" Kids excitedly cheering, "Yay!"
Panel 3: Optimist Man flying away.
Panel 4: Side of train filling panel.

I think Optimist Man should have a sidekick named The Inspiration Kid! And maybe they'll occasionally team up with The Prayer. Optimist Man's nemesis will be Cynigal! She totally can't stand him and his credulous idiocy.

I can already smell the money! SMELL ME THE MONEY!

Anyway, last issue, Dick Grayson was trapped aboard the Carrier by some woman named The Gardener. He had just beat up Midnighter because Midnighter can only predict tactics of things he understands and Dick Grayson is full of shit Midnighter can't comprehend, things like happiness and joy and upbeat positivity! He's so disgusting he makes me want to puke rainbows.

Helena is currently trying to retrieve Paragon's brain before the Fist of Cain use it to destroy Tel Aviv. She'd like Dick at her side but he's gone off the grid. But Spyral is able to see through Dick's Hypnos and figure out where he is. They find out that he's with Midnighter and that Midnighter is currently utilizing Dick's Hypnos. Using Dick's Hypnos as a delivery system, Helena is going to allow Midnighter to see what she found out while interrogating the Fist of Cain who told her about the brain. What all of that means is that it looks like Midnighter will be Helena's partner for this mission while Dick remains trapped on The Carrier.

The Gardener is one of those ends justify the means people.

For some reason, The Gardener actually thinks that death and violence will stop humans from making better weapons to commit violence and cause death. I think her super power is naivety.

Dick's story about Bat-nets convinces The Gardener to open a door to Tel Aviv for him and Midnighter to step through. Which is a good thing because some asshole stepped on Helena's crossbow and broke it. What the fuck is she building her crossbow's out of? That more-paper-than-wood material they use in those dollar store planes? You know the ones that you put together in twenty seconds, stick a weight on the nose, and fly it into a wall where the wings crack and the whole thing crumbles? Those things are cool.

Now clear Midnighter's head!

And Midnighter really needs his head cleared! Because he's not supposed to kill anybody but what do you suspect he's up to?!

The soundtrack to most of the Friday the 13th films was by Harry Manfredini. I may have spelled that completely wrong since I'm only going by memory.

Dick knocks the knife out of the air and then beats up the band while complaining about how their music is completely ruined now because they're Fists of Cainanites. He even mentions roller skating to their songs with a cute redhead which is totally my thing! Not the cute redhead part but the mentioning roller skating as a metaphor for that awkward stage of youth where you first begin to explore your budding sexuality. I don't mean hand jobs and second bases! I just mean crushes and boners!

The leader of the Fist of Cain attacks Helena but gets shot in the face by Director Minos who decided to go on this mission because, according to Cirque du Soleil: Spyral, he's been taking this whole Paragon/Fists of Cain mission too personally. Instead of arguing with that, he's apparently decided to embrace it. Meanwhile to save the day, Dick Grayson squicks Paragon's Brain and everybody stops hating everybody and begins loving everybody. Dick wins with hugs!

In the Epilogue, Midnighter moves out of the Godgarden. I don't really know much about the Godgarden or how it fits into Stormwatch. Is it part of the Carrier? Something else? I've been assuming it was in the Carrier. But I don't know who this Gardener is anyway! Midnighter doesn't appreciate the games she's playing, whoever she is, and walks out on her. Maybe that means he's quitting Stormwatch altogether since he has to get ready for his own title in a few months.

Grayson #7 Rating: No change. Still probably the best written, cohesive, character driven DC Comic. I hope Midnighter and Dick Grayson become best friends. I think they'd get along great if they could just have a calm talk over coffee and waffles. They'd realize that they're not so different! Although the breakfast might end with Dick's hair on fire and Apollo screaming jealously at Midnighter. "Breakfast?! Are you fucking kidding me?! What the hell were you two doing that you'd wind up eating breakfast together?! Let me smell your breath!"