As if the story "Flash of Two Worlds" wasn't complicated enough! Barry, you're an asshole.
Christ, Patty. Give it a rest! We get it! You don't see enough of Barry because he's trying to fuck Iris on the side!
Oh, I know! He can bang Iris at super speed! Although I don't think Iris would appreciate that. It would probably chafe like hell. It would be unsatisfying too but I think even at normal speed, Barry isn't the guy to deliver the goods. The goods are orgasms!
Barry zips around determining the cause of death on all of the bodies but I thought he was supposed to be identifying them. Who cares how they died?! The families want closure! Match the fucking bodies to the list of missing citizens, asshole! Barry seems to be determining cause of death because he's looking for clues to the super villains he wants to kill while he's in the past. But Patty just sits back taking notes instead of saying, "Hey! Douchebag! We've got reporters breathing down our asses because we were ignoring all of these corpses and leaving families to wonder where their loved ones went to. Knowing how each unidentified corpse died is not going to get Iris West off of our jocks!" Oh, maybe that's another reason why Barry isn't doing his job properly. So Iris will stay on his jock.
Meanwhile, Alistair the Horse's Luddite friend begins to freak out about all the cell towers in the area. The wireless communications are hurting his head because he's a huge drama queen. I mean, I agree that heavy magnetic fields can cause migraines and irritability. But that doesn't mean I begin shooting lightning out of my eyes and moaning to my horse about how I'm going to make everybody pay. I moan to my cat about that.
Oh, I guess Future-Flash isn't interested in Iris! And Iris doesn't seem to give a shit what Barry thinks of her ambition.
Anyway, Hairy Potter is an expert on the speed force because he believed enough and dreamed big. He knows so much about the speed force that he's going to get Barry's powers back and send Barry home where Patty will say, "Why are you back in your red costume?"
Enough with the freaky fucking legs, Booth!
Back at the precinct, Patty hears all about how The Flash cut off some guy's hand. Then she remembers how The Flash made her cry the other day when he declared the death of some kid was just. And Patty was all, "Boo hoo! You don't really think that, do you? Weep dramatically!" So obviously after that incident coupled with what could possibly have been an accident where a criminal robbing a bank was wounded while being apprehended, Patty now suspects Barry is a raging lunatic and major asshole and she's going to see him brought to justice! Also, he's been spending an awful lot of time with that Iris so fuck him.
The Flash #38 Rating: -1 Ranking. Boo! Hiss! Everybody's legs are so fucking long! Also, unless Patty suspects Barry has been replaced by some other sick and twisted future Barry, I don't buy how easily she's turning on him. No wait! Actually I do because I keep forgetting that she can't stand how much time Barry is spending with Iris. I think she wants to find him guilty for murder because that'll show him, the philandering asshole.