In this issue, Wonder Girl makes out with Beast Boy's tentacle. I hope that's his tentacle.
I should probably save that puzzle for my the next text adventure I write! Nobody steal it!
The first thing I notice when I open the cover is that Kenneth Rocafort is back doing the art. I probably should have noticed that when I was looking at the cover but I only sometimes read the names of the creators. Usually I already know who they are and if it changes, I'll notice when I open the book. Like this time! Anyway, I guess I'd better prepare myself for chaotic panel layouts, weird lines drawn helter skelter outside all of the panels, and lots of people looking like they haven't washed their hair in five days.
Last issue, STAR Labs turned into a mushroom cloud. This issue, the Teen Titans head to the site to investigate. Don't worry. They're superheroes. Radiation either doesn't hurt them or just gives them more super powers.
Once at Ground Zero, Red Robin takes some readings and breathes a huge sigh of relief as he reports no signs of radiation. If he's such a super genius, shouldn't he have made sure of that first? I mean, the others would have been fine! Power Girl and Wonder Girl are probably immune. Raven can cleanse the air around her. Beast Boy can turn into a cockroach. Bunker could surround himself with bricks. But they still don't know who caused this! But they know a shirtless cool British smoker who knows!
Darn! I fooled myself into thinking it was going to be John Constantine minus his shirt!
I bet out of all these kids, only Red Robin knows about it and that's only because we have to, collectively, maintain the illusion that he's a super genius. If just one of us points out that his brain has no clothes, the entire illusion will unravel! So believe hard, boys and girls! Just remember that if Tim Drake is going to later become Harvest, he must be a super genius!
It's seriously bugging me that Manchester Black said "Of course you did" instead of "Of course you have."
Wonder Girl kidnaps one of the bad guys and Raven reads his mind to find out that the bad men are going to erase part of New York City. The bad men also apparently have access to time travel. Also they can teleport because the bad man disappears. The Titans just stand around doing nothing, just like Power Girl accused them of always doing. Instead of rushing in to stop the people stealing the STAR Labs weapons while Raven interrogates the prisoner, they just stand around watching Raven work. Wonder Girl did inform the rest of them that a bunch of guys were stealing shit, right? No? Did she just keep that part to herself? Well, whatever happened, it's too late now! New York is about to get erased!
Oh, I guess they don't have time travel or teleportation. They just have a Fermata Device.
Wait, did I say brilliant? Just replace that with...oh, never mind. He can have that one.
Raven and Beast Boy discover the Fermata Device and Gar destroys it because he's not the smartest Teen Titan. I mean, really, I think the main danger was the Eraser! It would have been better to destroy that while he had lots of free Fermata time!
I think transforming from a mayfly into a whale breaks about a dozen laws of thermodynamics. Are there a dozen of those? Maybe there are only three!
Beast Boy turns into a rhino and charges into the Eraser, destroying it. Then the lead Bad Man begins chanting, "This is all according to plan!" Oh fuck. Not another one of these assholes. I'm so sick of asshole bad guys devising plans where they fail the first part of the plan and get their asses kicked before the part of the plan that will work kicks into gear. Do they just love getting their asses beat while they work? Why is this part of the fucking plan, you idiots?!
Raven shuts the guy up with her dark magics but since this was only Part One of the story, the team had better listen to that whole bit about this failure being part of the plan.
Beast Boy discovers that the hologram camera used to threaten all of New York was still up and running during the fight. So they all pose in front of it!
Now two (or more?) of you fuck for the city!
So now that the city has a reason to love the Teen Titans, they can get to some serious work kicking ass! And now when people flock to them and copy them and worship them, I won't bitch about it anymore. They've actually become celebrities through the story instead of Pfeifer constantly telling us that they're celebrities.
Now I just need a flashback where Red Robin tells everybody that he's Tim Drake. Although even when he was keeping his identity secret, he palled around with his team without a mask on. Is he too stupid to realize that a thing like reverse image search exists on Google? I'm sure there are plenty of pictures of him at Wayne Enterprise functions hanging out with Bruce Wayne that any of the Titans could have found easily enough. I think they were all just letting him have his secret while all pretending not to know. And then between Lobdell's run and this one, he eventually told them and they all went, "Oh! We're so surprised!"
Also, Tim might have told them in Lobdell's run and I simply forgot all about it. I mean, he did have sex with all the female members that time he was possessed by Trigon (who, according to the comic book Trigon #1, loves and adores rape).
The issue ends on an ominous note that threatens to make me take back everything nice I just said about it.
Burnyman McCracklingface is the new Harvest!