Sinestro #3

Sinestro's buddy! Sinestro's buddy! Wherever he goes, Death goes! Sinestro's buddy! Sinestro's buddy! Sinestro's buddy and, um, Sinestro!

Holy shit. I haven't seen Rags Morales's name in quite some time! That reminds me that I haven't used Anguished Fat Man in a months. I wonder what he's up to? When you've created a character and haven't written about them in awhile, do you also wonder what they've gotten up to outside of your supervision? I sometimes wonder if some of the characters I've created and then forgotten about have moved on into the real world to become serial killers like The Corinthian. I hope so! Any character I created will probably only kill complete douchebag assholes, like Frat guys and know-it-all editors and that one guy that was always trying to get you to play Magic the Gathering with him but he didn't know the rules and would argue with you about every move you made so that you just finally got sick of him, gave in, and played by his incorrect interpretation of the rules. God. Fuck that guy.

Judging by the cover of this issue, Sinestro is going to have a wardrobe malfunction because he forgot to buy mothballs. I bet we see some bright pink scrotal tissue this issue!

This issue begins in the armpit of the galaxy. Which galaxy would that be?

The Location Box states the fact so casually that this scene takes place in the armpit of the galaxy that it makes me think I should know which galaxy it's talking about! Now I feel like I've been lax in my studies and I've been caught unawares by a pop quiz! Which fucking galaxy in the nearly infinite galaxies in the universe would this particular armpit be located?! I think Cullen Bunn made a huge mistake. Saying galaxy when he meant universe is just a small mistake. Making that mistake where I, Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea, could catch it and never stop talking about? That's a huge mistake.

If Sinestro makes it to Issue #100, I still won't have stopped mentioning how fucking dimwitted Cullen Bunn is! Even if somebody eventually points out that the first two issues took place entirely across one galaxy so that this mention of a galaxy implies the same location, I won't back down! Why should I stop believing what I want to believe just because somebody pointed out that what I believe isn't true?! Jesus. Fuck those guys!

No wait! I take back everything I just said because the thing that these dentally challenged, robed figures are in agreement about is mentioned in the second panel and it made me laugh.

That's a pretty strong stance! Not as strong as "Sinestro can suck it," but still strong nevertheless.

The robed figures are Yellow Lanterns, so this secret meeting probably does take place in the same galaxy where most of the previous story has taken place. So I should probably apologize.

I'm not going to! But I probably should.

This small rebellion gets broken up by three members of The Paling before the scene shifts. But I have a feeling that the advocates of The Paling are going to destroy these Sinestro Corps members. Perhaps they'll even integrate them into their movement because DC Comics really seems to have a raging business boner for Borg Stories.

Meanwhile Sinestro emo-mopes all over the place. Or maybe he's happy? It's sort of hard to tell because he's a less emotional version of Spock combined with a more psychotic version of Charles Manson. I think the most that can be said of Sinestro is that he's determined. He's determined to get the Sinestro Corps back up and running so that they can scare everybody to their heart's delight.

This comment makes me think two different things which is a multiple of things more than I normally think but can't do the math on since I normally think zero things. Firstly, it can easily be misconstrued, mostly by me, as a sly wink at Arkillo's love of blowing Sinestro. Secondly, it sounds like the kind of saying that Cullen Bunn read somewhere and has appropriated for his own use.

Sinestro is sending his Yellow Corps on a mission to find and round up Korugarians. He's sending his daughter, Soranik the Green Lantern, along with them because she's a doctor. He also thinks it will confer upon a party of Yellow Lanterns some kind of advantage in the universe. Has he been following what's been going on with the Green Lanterns right now? The Universe hates them!

Sinestro and his gang interrupt a slave auction where they're selling a family of delicious Korugarians. But after the battle, the Korugarians don't seem to appreciate Sinestro's help. Just like the previous group he saved, they want nothing to do with him no matter how well he can protect them. Sinestro has caused a lot of pain to his people and it's all that Hal Jordan's fault! Hal Jordan must pay! I hope! Why hasn't Sinestro mentioned how much he hates Hal Jordan yet? He really despised him in the Challenge of the Superfriends cartoons!

Luckily Soranik tagged along. The Korugarians seem to be okay with a Korugarian Green Lantern saving their asses. But before the party can return to Yellow Lantern Headquarters, the Paling Borgs appear to Borg out on the future Borgs.

Borg borg borg borg!

Sinestro #3 Rating: No change. I can't wait for the issue where Sinestro learns how to laugh!