The Modern Era of comic books began when The Key stopped wearing his ridiculous fucking costume (not pictured. Should I picture it? Maybe I should picture it after the caption!).
Remember a time when super heroes were often beaten by people dressed like this?
Anyway, that's what happened to The Key. He really just thought he'd try his hand at super villainry by dressing up and robbing a few banks. But after the constant punning after being captured and the incessant body searches, he eventually turned pale and white, his hair went gray, and he just plain stopped caring about his appearance. His tormentors turned him into a ghoul that was too angry and traumatized to be whimsical. When he came back in Grant Morrison's Justice League run, those fucking Justice League members deserved everything they got.
This issue begins with masked Superman breaking through a wall because he's forgotten how to open doors. At first I thought Masked Superman might be Power Girl. But she's a prisoner on Cadmus Island, so then I thought maybe Kara. But I never really liked that guess because Kara is way too sleight to pull off Superman. So now, judging on the way the skin tight suit is fitting, I think it might be Booster Gold. He's got that force field that can do most of the work for him, plus his Legion Flight Ring, and any other future tech he may have access to. Plus he hasn't been around since he tried being an old west sheriff.
Superman is trashing a science lab where science happens and threatening the life of Ethan Boyer. Hopefully Lois Lane isn't around recording his on the record death threats! That would be just like an ace investigative journalist!
Oh shit! Spin control! Spin control!
Meanwhile at The Wounded Duck (get it? Red Robin is a lame duck because he's not superheroing anymore? He's so clever!), Coil continues, ten issues on, to point out to The Key that he hasn't officially joined their Terrifitech Raiding Party. Can you waste any more time, asshole?! Either bow out or agree to try the fucking plan already! Why can't The Key just use his brain unlocking, mind control, really fucking stretching the idea of his powers power and force him to agree?
Terry McBatman might know how to convince Coil to join the team though.
When The Key acts up, Terry McBatman Tonga Death Strikes his ass and knocks him out cold.
How does Red Robin know Terry pulled the "deathless" version on The Key? Does the regular version cause the head to explode?
Meanwhile in space, we learn that Hawkman gets off on being dominated and that a member of Stormwatch other than Hawkman survived the attack by the Cancelator. It's either Apollo or The Engineer since their bodies were missing. I suppose it could also be Midnighter because he probably slowed his breathing and heartbeat down to a level that would allow him to float around in space for weeks before dying.
Back on Cadmus Island, Grifter fills half a page with his Narration Boxes, so nothing much has changed with him in the last five years. He also manages to get his ass beat by an invisible OMAC. Maybe it's Predator OMAC! Did Dark Horse lose their rights to The Predator? Deathstroke's sidekick, Fifty Sue (is that her name because it rhymes with 52? Is she from Earth 50? Is she a boy named Sue?) doesn't know anything about the OMAC that beat Grifter but she'd like to. So now she finally has a reason to keep Grifter alive: as bait for the invisible OMAC.
And finally in Vancouver, British Columbia, Green Arrow's sister outs Big Barda.
She calls herself "Jane Kirby" because she wants to be anonymous, like a Jane Doe, and she's a huge fan of Bruce Kirby.