Looks like Starfire has been mainlining steroids for the past five years.
Anyway, I guess Futures End is all about futures that ended early which is why this is all about heroes that got their asses cancelled. Is that the big bad motherfucker from outer space that killed Stormwatch? The Cancellator? I suppose we’ll be seeing Static Shock and Blue Beetle shortly. Maybe even the Blackhawks! Oh, and if Grifter is here, I bet Voodoo is dancing at a club just down the street! I just hope Captain Atom decides to sit this one out. Although he’d be a lot more interesting not being written by J.T. Krul.
It's nice to get a shot at J.T. Krul whenever I get the chance since he hasn't written for DC for about two years now. I miss hating his work.
Currently Lois Lane is searching for a location in the Indian Ocean using some coordinates she received in a mysterious package. While she spends all of her money and time on this crazy lead, her employees are back in Metropolis wondering when the next pittance of a check will come dribbling in to their sweaty, open palms. If The Fast Lane fails, what other job can they possibly do? Once you've realized you can make money by posting pure bullshit on the internet, you'll never again be able to work a job in the real world! If Lois Lane's wild Cadmus Island chase doesn't bear any baconfruit, she's not going to have a killer story to post on The Fast Lane and the readers will stop reading because they have a fake city or farm to click monotonously on. They don't have time to wait for written entertainment that they then have to sit and read with their own eyes and brain! Ugh! Who has time for that bullshit? I want to level up a cow by clicking on plots of grass over and over again!
If only Lois Lane had a nose for mystery, it would be twitching like crazy!
If only Cadmus Island wasn't magically invisible to nosy reporters, Lois Lane would have seen Deathstroke the Terminator and his sidekick, Fifty Sue, treating Grifter like the 3rd rate comic book character he is.
Since this story features Brother Eye and Father time as major players, perhaps Fifty Sue is that Mother person from Blackhawks, Mother Machine!
Such a typical, shitty, trite, boring Cole Cash line. He's being written perfectly by this crew!
Mister Terrific gets a scene where we learn he's now the smartest man on Earth. Or he just has an alien presence (or robot) that's main programming is to stick its tongue straight down the back of his trousers. It's also possible that Batman and Lex Luthor are dead. It's also possible that Michael Holt's lab is on a completely different Earth full of morons, idiots, and utter baboons.
A few other plot points decide to meet up at the Wounded Duck because there were too many individual threads to keep track of.
Red Robin has the bartender disguise down pat. Look at the concentration on his face as he dries that beer mug!
Futures End #8 Rating: No change. Nobody died. Fifty Sue's real identity wasn't revealed. Lois Lane found loads and loads of squat. Superman's identity wasn't revealed. Terry McBatman and The Key's gang didn't infiltrate Terrifitech. Ray Palmer and his crew discovered nothing. Father Time pointed out it was going to be the end of the world. So not a lot has changed since last issue!