Batman's neck would be snapped as soon as Wraith grabbed it. Fucking comic books! Be realistic!
I finished my review of Issue #6 with a sarcastic, "See you in three months!" Well, it's been three months! Time for Issue #7!
Well, at least the Fortress of Solitude is back where it belongs.
I know most of you are thinking, "Isn't that a little harsh if not a lot illogical? Shouldn't Superman be raised up as a hero?" But here's why you're wrong. You're not thinking with the brain of a high level military man! Winning wars and saving people only counts if the public sees that your dick was the biggest. But with Superman rubbing his supercock all over the faces of the citizens of the world, how is anybody supposed to see Sam Lane waving Wraith's cock about with an American flag on it? Superman's dingus is so impressive that nobody is interested in Wraith's flaccid purple monster. And you know who helped Superman's cock with a huge dong of his own? Batman! So Batman has to die as well!
Don't you wish Jim Lee were drawing my version of the story?! The only problem is that he'd draw so many scribbles on their shafts that they'd be unrecognizable. Everybody would be all, "What is that? Bark? Knotholes? Why is Superman pulling a tree out of his pants?" Although Wonder Woman's penis would be really smooth because she's a woman and Jim Lee doesn't scribble on his ladies.
Lois has no confidence in Superman even though he just saved the entire world.
At least Wraith is honest about what he's doing.
I suppose Alfred doesn't even know Batman's hosting a battle down in the Batcave. But I'm sure he realizes it when he hears Batman crash his Batwing down on top of Wraith. Alfred probably just sighs, heads over to the bathroom medicine cabinet, and downs a couple of laxatives. "On my way, Master Bruce."
Next Batman remote control crashes nineteen different Batmobiles into Wraith as they fire off any weapons they have. Batman mentions they're insured but I'm sure that's just a joke. Who would give Batman an auto insurance policy? Wouldn't he need to give some kind of identification or else anybody in a Batsuit could smash the cars up and they'd have to pay. Plus Batman is way too risky! Unless his coverage costs thousands of dollars a year. Perhaps saying they're insured is simply a way to keep his secret identity secret because why would Bruce Wayne need insurance? That shit is practically communism! He wrecks a car, he pays for it out of pocket.
Although Wraith did find Batman in the Batcave so his secret identity might already be fucked.
Oh Superman. You look ridiculous. And you're, um, missing a leg.
Also, I guess Wonder Woman's ass saving didn't exactly take since Wraith knocks her and Batman across the room with the dinosaur. Alfred is going to be seriously pissed when he gets a look at this scene. He's going to have to send the giant penny, the dinosaur, and the Joker's playing card out for repairs. Oh, and also nineteen cars and an airplane.
Ugh. Not to mention fixing the new Superman-sized hole in the skylight and the upper floor's floor and the lower floor's ceiling and the lower floor's floor and the Batcave's ceiling and the Batcave's floor.
Let me close on a joke since we won't be revisiting this comic book for three more months. What's the main difference between a comic book written by Scott Lobdell and a piece of toilet paper he used to wipe his ass? He's getting paid for the comic book.