Sunday, May 26, 2013

The Green Team #1

Finally! Characters that *I* can identify with!

It's about time a comic book showcases wildly rich, shallow young people drinking too much booze and exploiting rare wild animals simply to have an interesting accessory for other people to talk about. I've been reading comic books for about twenty five years and Tony Stark was pretty much the only guy representing me! But he was too ambitious and intelligent, so I still felt left out. But now! Just look at that cover! That's exactly how I've been living my life! Hopefully one of these guys likes to have sex with 80s gaming consoles or else I'll still feel underrepresented in the world of comic books.

The whole entire shebang begins with a kid named Mohammed heading to New York to try and meet with the super duper rich kid leader of the Green Team, Commodore Murphy. Mohammed is trying to prove to his father that he can make lots of money and he's hoping The Green Team can help him out with that. Commodore Murphy has secret Expos for mad scientists and crackpots to show their gizmos and gadgets which the Commodore then purchases to use for The Green Team. I'm guessing.

Thanks to instantly running into the cowboy hat wearing one's sister, Mohammed gets an introduction with the team.

Something better happen soon because these rich kids are boring me.

Commodore Murphy is definitely scouting equipment for use in super heroing but his pal J.P. in the Cowboy Hat has reservations about the stupid idea. Why put your life in danger when you have a fuck-ton of money to do anything you want? I guess that question answers itself since Commodore wants to be a superhero and has a fuck-ton of money. And being as rich as he is, he probably lives in a bubble and can't imagine anything bad ever happening to him. If he can spend enough cash, he should be able to buy invincibility and immortality.

While Mohammed is trying to figure out what the Commodore and his Green Team is all about, J.P. figures out that Mohammed has been uploading pictures from the event. Pictures tagged #GreenTeam with the GPS data still on them. This is a bad thing. Because rich people like to get kidnapped.

This guy, Riot Act, is the most interesting thing about this comic book so far.

To combat Riot Act, Commodore shoves a green disc on his chest and becomes Green Team Ranger #1! He then immediately flies off into a wall. Mohammed shoots Riot Act with an experimental laser from the show that doesn't do much of anything. And Mo's bodyguard tries his fists. They don't work but on the plus side, they're about as effective as lasers! That's got to be a confidence boost.

The Commodore learns to control his suit and get the upper hand on Riot Act just in time to find out that Riot Act is not a solo act.

Riot Act are a bit similar to the Emoticon guys from Morrison's pre-boot Batman Incorporated. Except with silly faces instead of emoticon faces, of course. I said similar to, not exactly like!

The Green Team #1 Rating: Rank #30. I'm a big fan of Ig Guara and I really like the look of this comic. And I'm absolutely sure that it will pick up in future issues but the set-up has been as dull as a rich person's garden party. It's the after hours drug fueled sex orgy that I'm looking forward to and I hope that begins in Issue #2!

No comments:

Post a Comment