Saturday, May 11, 2013

Batman #20

This surprise cover is for everyone that picked up this issue but didn't read last issue.

Last issue, we learned that Clayface loves shoving his junk down people's throats. He also ends up incorporating other people's junk into his being so that he can turn into an exact clone of those people, right down to the DNA. Commissioner Gordon was also shot in the chest by a shotgun and run over by a motorcycle. The jerk who did it was Clayface but he was busy looking like Bruce Wayne. So Bruce might be in a spot of trouble.

If you need anymore of a recap on what's going on, here's Clayface to explain it in just that way that bad guys love to explain their plans because they're arrogant idiots.

Sounds like a reasonable plan. Except the part where you tell the plan to everybody. When is that ever a good part of the plan?

Clayface swallows up Bruce Wayne and spits him in a trash compactor/incinerator with Lucius Fox. Luckily the trash that gets destroyed in this thing is composed of experimental Batman Incorporated Technology, allowing Batman to find an old model of Batwing suit that didn't fit David Zavimbe because he had gotten so fat. Or it could just be the Batman Beyond suit which is currently simply too expensive to keep producing. Either way, wearing it allows Bruce Wayne to bash through the wall so they can escape. And now Bruce Wayne knows that for Batman to stop Clayface, he can't allow Clayface to get any of his DNA.

Luckily Batman has just the right Bio-containment Batsuit for the job! It's a good thing having more outfits means selling more action figures so that Bruce Wayne can make huge profits on every single Bat Costume he designs.

Batman puts up quite a struggle but he's just about defeated when Gordon and his men arrive. And they arrive just in time to see Clayface receive a taste of Batman's DNA and reveal who is under the mask!

Well, I see Jim's got a bullet proof vest on but that doesn't explain how a motorcycle with the weight of super dense Bruce Wayne didn't seriously injure him. I guess he rolled with the being run over. Or something.

Batman has Lucius Fox drop a Panic Chamber down on Clayface. The only way Clayface can get out is for the person it's programmed to listen to commands it to open. Batman programmed it to open for Basil Karlo, Clayface's true identity, because Batman surmises that Clayface no longer has enough of his own DNA to command it to open. As for revealing that he's Bruce Wayne, Batman peels some cling wrap from his face and claims that it was covered with Bruce Wayne's DNA! Gross! Gordon and his men all nod vigorously and gasp, "Of course! Of course!" and "Never thought Wayne could be Batman anyway! Ridiculous!" and "How'd you get Wayne's DNA all over your face?"

But then Clayface, defeated, crosses the line when he says that Bruce Wayne doesn't care for anyone.

Boy. Who knew criticizing Bruce Wayne could hit such a Batnerve. That's suspicious.

After all's said and done and shouted and kicked and calmed down, Bruce has a few moments to spend with Alfred.

Don't forget to feed Batcow! Damian lives on in Batcow!

Oh, I wasn't going to scan the final page but here! Have some sad. And happy. Sappy?

Oh that hand! Right in the feels.

I forgot that the back-up story was about Lovecraftian Slimer guest starring Superman. Let's summarize this nice and quickly so I can get out of this cloud of mosquitoes and get my ass inside!

They defeat it by Batman telling a ghost how much he cares about Superman and then not telling Superman how much he cares about Superman's friendship. Well, he kind of opens up a little bit when he thanks him and invites him on patrol with him. And the ditching Superman after the invite is his way of saying he cares!

Batman #20 Rating: No change. The general plot of Clayface stealing DNA and using it to blackmail people was a decent comic book story. But the other stuff that framed the story made it really nice, like how Clayface has lost all traces of himself and will never again be able to be who he was. And Batman's reaction to seeing Clayface wear Damian's face. And, of course, Alfred is always great. Plus the back-up story was much better than my short synopsis and cheeky snark give it credit for.

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