Currently over in the Magenta Timeline...
The Stormwatch away team has been sent to investigate the Magenta Time Lords that have been rewriting Stormwatch every few years. Unless they do it every few months. Or every other second? Every negative thirteen weeks? Whatever their timetables for fuckery, the away team consisting of Midnighter, Apollo, Hellstrike, Jenny Soul, and The Weird have arrived on what is possibly the Magenta Time Lords' home planet to put a stop to their shenanigans.
I think I use the word "shenanigans" too much. I must have some leprechaun ancestry.
Apollo and Midnighter's first duty is to get Jenny Soul across the street and into a space with less minds since she's feeling overloaded. And Midnighter will provide the commentary for that blatant under use of their powers for me.
Since I dropped Stormwatch 25 ranks last issue to start them over on their Magenta Timeline, I'll give them a chance to build back up by raising their rank for everything I enjoy. +1 Ranking for this combined with the away teams initial update of "Holy crap!" Mind you, I'll also be giving Stormwatch negative ranks when they displease me. And I am oh so easy to displease!
The first thing the Magenta Time Lord does is send Lobo back into the past to see how he became the gigantic fucking prick he became.
I'm severely disappointed that Czarnians look just like humans instead of all looking like Lobo. But Magenta Time Line! May not possibly be New 52 Canon! Especially since in The New 52, we were introduced to Lobo's girlfriend, Sheba, who also looked like Lobo. But then that was from a Liefeld book and thus possibly not New 52 Canon!
I still hope Sheba replaces Lobo in the real New 52 Timeline because do we really need more "fraggin' bastich" this and "fraggin bastich" that? Although another reason to completely forget Liefeld's mess is how he had the Czarnians as one of the alien races fighting with Thanagar. Who makes that mistake?! Everybody fucking knows Lobo is the Last Czarnian! And how about another +1 ranking simply for making him look three million times better than the way Liefeld drew him.
+1 Ranking for this strangeness that probably has far reaching consequences if Lobo is ever able to extinguish this light. But let's see how the Magenta Time Lords react before speculating on its importance.
If they can see that Jenny Soul can disrupt their plans across all but one time line, then they can obviously see exactly what needs to be done to make that single time line come about. Unless the mere observance of the time line changes the time line! In which case, they're probably fucking screwed.
As Stormwatch is nearing the source of the psychic emanations, a sniper tries to blow Jenny's brains all over the backside of Apollo. But she senses him in time and dodges out of the way, leaving Apollo to get shot in the ass. I don't think it hurts him much though. He's all solar powered up and invulnerable. After the sniper shot, all hell breaks loose just like on the cover.
Sex talk seems a little out of place when you're kicking the heads off of your enemies. +1 Ranking!
And then there's
I suppose comparing Maude with Lobo is about as horrible as when I compared The Golden Girls to the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. Speaking of Maude and The Golden Girls, both of those shows had great theme songs. Plus Lobo's dolphin buddies!