Detective Comics #20

At least he wasn't unleashed.

Ignatius Ogilvy has got an inferiority complex. Why does he hate himself so much? There's no other explanation! Why would you go from a pretty cushy life being The Penguin's right-hand man to being the top dog crimelord in Gotham if you didn't want to be beaten to a pulp? Wouldn't it have been easier to simply take a shit on Damian's grave? It would have put him in the exact same place he's in now! And that place is at the head of the queue with the sign, "Ass Kickings by Batman."

See? What happened to the Ogilvy that wanted to survive?!

I suppose, judging by the cover, Emperor Penguin has a plan and it involves Eclipso and undoing some chains and then redoing those chains around Batman's neck! But Batman has a plan as well! I don't know what it is because I'm not as smart as Batman but I bet involves a boot and a face!

Batman gets the message and storms Oswald Cobblepot's mansion later that night. Emperor Penguin seems to be more Emperor Cuckoo, in more ways than one if you get my meaning! I hope part of that meaning is sexual! I wonder if there is a sex act called "Playing Cuckoo"? I'm pretty sure it involves putting one thing into another thing where it doesn't belong but I don't know the specifics. Who's the nest? What's the egg? How many baby birds die?

I underestimated all of that crap too! I just thought he was another sycophantic toady!

I have to scan the picture immediately after Batman calls Ogilvy out as well because it's one of those super exciting double splash pages that Tony S. Daniel apparently made an essential part of Detective Comics.

Batman's Narration Box: "As it turned out, I underestimated a lot of things." Like Alfred's ability to keep Damian from leaving the Batcave?

Earlier in the day, the trespassing and weapons charges The Penguin was charged with were dismissed in court by a judge that had been threatened earlier by Mr. Combustible. It seems kind of silly threatening a judge for such minor charges. Batman surely must have known that trespassing and weapons charges wouldn't stick. I think Batman was just pissed off and trying to inconvenience The Penguin for his part in Death of the Family. Even if Penguin had been found guilty, I can't imagine he would have done any jail time. Unless the weapon charges were for the nuclear missiles he was trying to sell to gang lords in Africa.

Also earlier that day, Alfred was hanging around the courthouse watching the penguins.

See? Batman knew the charges sucked. He was just being a complete bastard! And wasting taxpayer money on this nonsense!

Back to the ass kicking, Batman is trying to figure out what Ogilvy took to become as strong and dextrous as he is now. It seems to me he simply injected some Black Diamond dust into him. But Batman figures Ogilvy has some barklike skin (from Poison Ivy, the editor tells me) and he's probably taken some variation of Bane's Venom along with the Man-bat Goo. The important part is that whatever Ogilvy took, it's made him strong and quick enough to beat The Goddamned Batman.

Why do villains always walk away from a hero while the hero is still breathing? Ogilvy, you're just not smart enough for Gotham.

The Penguin shows up to save Batman (and call him "an enormous oaf" to boot!) because The Penguin wants his shit back. And what better way to win a fight than by having Batman on your side? And Batman has to know that The Penguin is as legitimate a business man as Gotham is going to get. So better to have The Penguin than Emperor Penguin instilled as Crime Lord.

Batman heads into the house to show Ogilvy that you can't win against The Batman when The Batman decides to not pull his punches. Earlier, he couldn't go all out because The Batman could easily kill a normal man with a misplaced Acidrang or a well placed fist to the bridge of the nose. And those are things he uses on Ogilvy now because Ogilvy is a huge, mutated monstrosity and I think Batman is allowed to kill those things.

Emperor Penguin is beaten but he thinks he won because now people will always remember how Emperor Penguin took over Gotham and, even if only for a second, beat The Batman. But I won't! All I'm going to remember is what a stupid fucking derivative name he took and how he didn't follow his own advice to not be too smart in Gotham! What a dumb jerk! He could have been great but he overstepped his place! And just to make sure he stays down, The Penguin has a message for him.

Unfortunately is right.

I bet the back-up story is going to be about Ogilvy stealing some Black Diamond Extract from STAR Labs. Although I hope it's something completely different.

But before the back-up story, there's an epilogue where The Penguin allows the children's center to be named after Martha Wayne instead of his own mother (or Ogilvy's! Didn't Ogilvy change that as well?). Cobblepot is tired of being a public figure and is ready to go back to the simple life of gangstering and grafting.

And finally, some six armed woman has appeared in Gotham to kill people. And she apparently knows Bruce Wayne. Maybe it's Charlotte the Reporter returned with super powers? Or maybe it's just one of Bruce's old high school classmates. Although her thought, "You've done well for yourself, Bruce Wayne,"  hardly makes any sense since Bruce Wayne was born with a silver spoon factory in his mouth.

The back-up story is about Ogilvy in Blackgate although the story begins much the same way Bruce's story began: with parents shot dead outside of a local theater. In Blackgate, a creature named "The Boss" invites him to his cell for tea and buttered scones. He also asks Ogilvy some questions and one of them is the same question I'd like to ask! Why the hell did he go for it all when he once suggested the only way to survive in Gotham was to not be too smart!?

Of course! It always comes back to daddy issues!

Ogilvy ends up killing The Boss because Ogilvy wants to own the boat! Even if the boat is a stinking shithole of a prison. Word spreads fast across the cell block that Ogilvy killed The Boss. Somebody calls him "Emperor Penguin" and he corrects them with his new name: Emperor Blackgate!

Oh Ogilvy, you stupid doucheparty. That's even dumber than Emperor Penguin!

Detective Comics #20 Rating: +1 Ranking. So ends the saga of Emperor Penguin. Such a speedy rise to fame and power could only last but a fleeting moment. But at least he can now rule Blackgate! I guess if he ever goes crazy, he's going to become Emperor Arkham.